Straight Up |: May 2006 Archives

Per Haditha, where this photo was taken "in what appears to be a morgue":

A friend asks: "So what's next, another Lidice?"

To the Bullshitter-in-Chief, who pressed the case for war today at Arlington National Cemetery, just a short time after signing into law a bill that restricts protests at military funerals, he would have said two things.

The first, according to e.e. cummings: "I will not kiss your fucking flag." The second, after he's been beaten, then reamed by hot bayonets: "there is some shit I will not eat." Here's the whole glorious poem:

i sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
a conscientious object-or

his wellbelovéd colonel (trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but--though an host of overjoyed
noncoms (first knocking on the head
him) do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments--
Olaf (being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds, without getting annoyed
"I will not kiss your fucking flag"

straightaway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but-though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation's blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion
voices and boots were much the worse,
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skillfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat--
Olaf (upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaselessly repeat
"there is some shit I will not eat"

our president,being of which
assertions duly notified
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon,where he died

Christ (of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see;and Olaf,too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me:more blond than you

© by e. e. cummings
in Complete Poems: 1913-1962

Unlike 30 million others, I didn't watch last night's "American Idol" finale. I'm not proud of that. It's just a fact. I realize this calls my patriotism into question. So I offer the Bullshitter-in-Chief as the true pop-cult idol of our time. Here's his portrait, right, a study in heroic banality concocted by editorial cartoonist Bill Mitchell, who 'toons for CNN.com.

The truth is I haven't watched "American Idol" in three years, ever since leaving MSNBC.com, where I had to write about it as part of my job. But I did read about it this morning in Alessandra Stanley's commentary, which compensates for all the years I missed. I get the impression she didn't like the finale ("a supersize letdown") or the show in general ("a monster-size celebration of mediocrity that, astonishingly, has not lost its hold on viewers even in its fifth season"). Stanley is very smart. That's why I've added the italics. I'm astonished that she's astonished. I don't think she really is. And here's the Lisa de Moraes blow-by-blow, which says pretty much what Stanley says but in too many words.

Just for the record: Mitchell gave me the Bullshitter's portrait to illustrate "creative plagiarism," per Andy Warhol and Jeff Koons, by way of the Mustill/Muniz flap. My Q to Mitchell: "So tell me, did Muniz rip off Mustill?" His A to me: "Does the Pope dress like a silly little girl?"

Dexter Filkins's huge piece this morning, "Armed Groups Propel Iraq Toward Chaos," follows up on his colleague Sabrina Tavernise's recent report and fleshes out what Nir Rosen and Ahmed Hashim had to say a couple of weeks ago at the Council on Foreign Relations. Just thought you might like to know, if you didn't already.

Filkins is well worth reading. Like Rosen, Hashim, and Tavernise, he gives the lie to relentless claims of progress in Iraq offered by the Bullshitter-in-Chief and his regime. Whether it's beginning a new chapter or turning a corner, when it comes to reining in the death squads, one candid American official in Baghdad said there's been no action by Iraq's new so-called unity government. "None," the official told Filkins. "Zero." Given this and this and this and this and this, and any number of other items I could cite, that should come as no surprise.

Back from four great days in Philly and recovering from trainlag (the ride took only 90 minutes, but Amtrak does that to me), I see the Metropolitan Opera's bye-bye party for Joseph Volpe over the weekend lived up to Martin Bernheimer's billing for it in the Financial Times:

The valedictory exercise promises to be the most momentous event at Lincoln Center since the stuntmaster David Blaine, drippy but undrowned, forsook his fishbowl on the plaza last week. Volpe has assembled a gaggle of stars -- would-be, has-been and bona-fide -- to deliver characteristic pomp if limited circumstance. The gala should represent a fitting tribute to, and from, a man who has often been accused of being obnoxious and power-hungry and who, like Jesus, began his career as a carpenter.

That paragraph is hard to beat. I still can't stop smiling. It's one more reason Bernheimer continues to be my favorite daily music critic.

"Sir! No Sir!" Click dat thang:

Remember the underground GI press?

Postscript: "Rove Indicted on Charges of Perjury, Lying to Investigators." So sayeth Jason Leopold, whose report -- if true -- is fondly to be wished. There's been no confirmation, official or unofficial.

The mugshot of the Bullshitter-in-Chief on the front page of this morning's New York Times caught him just right. Here's the caption that went with it:

"We're not mining or trolling through the personal lives of millions of innocent Americans."

Here's what he meant:

"We're not mining or trolling through the personal lives of millions of innocent guilty Americans."

Nir Rosen and Ahmed Hashim told what they knew.

"I think there is absolutely no hope that things will get better in Iraq," said Rosen, who was last in Baghdad three weeks ago. "The civil war will get worse." What's more, he added, "the government of Iraq, if it has a role, it's a negative one." He was referring to the various ministries with their respective militias. Meantime, "if you're young and poor and Shia, you're Mahdi Army."

Hashim agreed. "Iraq is in the midst of civil war, insurgency, organized crime and massive state failure," he said. "The U.S. military isn't shaping events. It's reacting to them." U.S. forces are "just one more militia" among many. He added, "We have a civil war right now. A low level civil war. Anybody who says different" has no idea of the reality in Iraq.

They were speaking Tuesday evening at the Council on Foreign Relations. The event was dubbed "Insurgents, Martyrs, and Militias: The Ongoing Violence in Iraq."

Rosen, who grew up in New York, spent 14 months in Baghdad as bureau chief for Asia Times. He is the author of "In the Belly of the Green Bird," and his reports have appeared in The New Yorker, Harper's, The New York Times Magazine and The New Republic.

Hashim, an officer in the U.S. Army, served in Iraq in 2005 and specializes in security policies of the Middle East. He teaches at the U.S. Naval War College (where he's an Associate Professor of Strategic Studies) and at Harvard's Kennedy School (where he's an Adjunct Lecturer in Public Policy). Hashim said he was speaking as a private citizen and was not representing the Army in his opinions.

So I open the paper on Wednesday, and what do I see? A front-page story by Sabrina Tavernise, "Alarmed by Raids, Neighbors Stand Guard in Iraq," about civilian watch groups forming in Baghdad to protect their neighborhoods from the nighttime "secret killings" being carried out by the roving death squads of the various militias. Later that day CNN.com had a report, "Morgue's toll for April in Baghdad: 1,091 victims," noting "the upsurge in sectarian violence" (which Tavernise's describes in far greater detail; go read her).

Now comes this morning's front-pager, "Iraq Set to Unify Security Forces to Battle Chaos," as if in repy to Rosen and Hashim.

What's wrong with Nicholas Kristof? In his column this morning, "Bush Takes On The Brothels," the winner of the 2006 Pulitzer Prize for commentary writes this lede:

I'm guessing that President Bush's foreign policy will stand up about as well to the assessments of future historians as a baby gazelle to a pack of cheetahs.

To compare pre-emptive war, alienation of allies, nuclear sabre-rattling, disregard for international treaties and destabilizing the U.N. to a baby gazelle is beyond ludicrous. Bad analogy, Mr. Kristof. If you want to claim the Bullshitter-in-Chief "hasn't gotten much credit" for his stand against sex trafficking, fine. But please don't turn reality inside out while doing it.

History doesn't repeat, but does it go round and round? Consider these words, posted on May 17, 2004, in "Report From the Land of Is":

If "regime change" comes in November, [Paul] Krugman said, he hoped the next administration would "throw open the records" and not be "too magnanimous" to this one. "I believe the sunshine is going to be quite deadly," he said. It is precisely because the Bush regime has so much to hide, Krugman added, that the upcoming "election campaign is going to be so bitter."

The campaign was bitter. Regime change not only didn't happen, the Bullshitter-in-Chief's regime took over totally. Sunshine -- that is, Congressional inquiries with Democrat-controlled subpoena power -- hid behind Republican clouds in both the House and Senate.

Now consider these words, reported today on the front page of The New York Times, in "Rove Is Using Threat of Loss to Stir G.O.P."

The prospect of the administration spending its last two years being grilled by angry Democrats under the heat of partisan spotlights has added urgency to the efforts by Karl Rove and Mr. Bush's political team to hang on to the Republican majorities in Congress.

The American electorate didn't give enough of a shit to let the sunshine in last time. We'll see, come November 2006, if it gives a shit this time around.

Postscript: Is the unspeakable murder of Atwar Bahjat what's called "progress" in Iraq?

Word comes that a collection of 570 Joseph Beuys "multiples," made from "materials as diverse as gray felt, bottles, reels of film or fish bones," was purchased by billionaire art collecter Eli Broad. Describing Beuys, left, the monochrome painter Joseph Marioni told bloomberg.com, "He's a German Andy Warhol," except that his work "has no decorative quality whatsoever.'' Now have a look at Beuys the rock singer. He's a German Mick Jagger without the rhythm, eh?

Some good, some bad. Take this post from two years ago, for example. It mocked the proliferation of blogs. I claimed that "like much else on the Web, blogs would dry up if readers had to pay for them."

Bad guess. Blogs are more popular than ever, paid and unpaid. Rabbits are less prolific.

April 12, 2004

BLOGGER STARDUST

A friend asked (this is true): "How's the blogging life?" My reply: "Underpaid and overrated." The overraters tend to be johnnys-come-lately who believe they've had a revelation when, in fact, all they've done is plugged in.

The underpayers are everyone else -- in other words, the readers. The truth is that, like much else on the Web, blogs would dry up if readers had to pay for them.

They might dry up anyway. Blogs are said to be proliferating and their influence spreading. Yeah, like stardust. I've noticed lately that even at no charge some of the best blogs have already gone silent. For instance, the literary MobyLives went into hibernation many months ago. Earlier this year, on Jan. 5, readers were told that "Moby is almost done resting." It's still not back.

That was another bad guess, sort of. MobyLives eventually came back in different form. Now it sounds off as a literary podcast, MobyLivesRadio.

Are the front-page editors of The New York Times embarrassed that it took them so long to catch up with The Wall Street Journal, which front-paged the same story three years ago? Probably not. But maybe they should be.

Way back on Aug. 11, 2003, under the subhead "Music for the Ages," yours truly blogged about the Journal tale of the stretched-out John Cage composition that will take, if all goes well, 639 years to perform.

The basics of the story about "ORGAN²/ASLSP," as I retold it for readers who lacked a print or online WSJ subscription, went like this:

The performance actually began a few days before 9/11 in "the forlorn eastern German city of Halberstadt ... in a crumbling medieval church," the Journal reported. "Each movement lasts 71 years. The shortest notes last six or seven months, the longest about 35 years. There's an intermission in 2319."

I then noted:

If you missed the opening, you didn't miss much because the music "begins with a rest, or silence," that lasted for the first 17 months ...

Anyway, yesterday The Times front-paged Daniel Wakin's story, "An Organ Recital for the Very, Very Patient." This was the lede (which I admire for its flattering similarity of expression):

If you miss Friday's musical happening at St. Burchardi Church in this eastern German town, no worries. There is always 2008. And the next year. And the one after that.

Nostalgia sets in:

They've been around the block several times promoting their book, "Cobra II." What more could they have to say that they hadn't said already?

Still, it was worth witnessing Michael Gordon and Bernard Trainor this morning at the Council on Foreign Relations if only for the frisson of hearing a former three-star Marine general describe Tommy Franks, the four-star Army general who led the invasion of Iraq, as not just "foulmouthed" and "uncouth" but, much worse for a "muddy boots" soldier, one who became "puffed up like a toad."

Those terms are not the sort usually heard within the walls of the council's august townhouse headquarters at the corner of Park Avenue and East 68th Street in Manhattan. And you're not likely to hear Trainor use them on the network news shows, either.

What else did long-retired Lt. Gen. Trainor say? Nothing as pungent as that. But he did point out, probably for the umpeenth time, that during the invasion "field commanders were dealing with reality," while Franks at Central Command and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld at the Pentagon back in Washington "were dealing with assumptions" -- most if not all of them wrong.