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Music in my heart

I took a long trip over Labor Day, to attend anniversary

celebrations for a marvelous art project my wife’s stepfather has funded for

the past 40 years. And while I was there, I made my debut as a free improviser,

either on piano (when one was available), or else with anything that might make

sound — chairs I could drag along a concrete floor, my voice, resonant steel

stairs I could stamp on — when we improvised inside a sculpture as large as a

house (larger than many houses) that my stepfather-in-law commissioned on the

land near his home.

All this was very informal. But I was working with

experienced musicians, from Boston and Germany, both of them partners of

artists at the celebration. So the musical circumstances were highly professional,

though also quirky. I was right at home. Certainly I’ve been hearing free

improvisation (and sometimes reviewing it) for more than 30 years. But what

surprised me was how authoritative I felt. I’m not saying I sounded

authoritative; that’s for others to judge. But I felt as if I’d been doing this

all my life, which really wowed me, since I haven’t performed in public for

maybe 20 years (I used to sing opera, conduct, and sometimes play keyboards),

and especially since I’ve never felt this comfortable at the piano. I blanch

whenever I want to play some musical example for the classes I teach.

Now, for whatever reason, everything feels changed, and I

want to do lots more of this. As I don’t have to tell some of the regular

readers here (Eric Barnhill, Eric Edberg, to name two), there’s a great freedom

in improvisation, when you hit a groove, and the ideas just come to you. When I

felt self-conscious, or cut off from the other musicians, I’d remember a

Pauline Oliveros piece I heard at Lincoln Center a few weeks ago (and wrote

about for the Wall Street Journal).

She has the audience performing; you take a breath and then sing a sound to

match what someone else is singing. Then you take another breath, and make a

sound of your own. I could do that just as well on the piano, and it helped

focus me on the others, as well as on myself.

One marvelous moment, that happened each time we played –

when you know you’re at the end, and you also know (with no doubt at all) that

the others know it, too.

A wonderful thing: Nonmusicians can do this. When we

improvised inside the sculpture, the artists joined their partners, making

whatever sounds they felt like, including whistling and tongue clicks, which

brought alive some very quiet moments.

We wondered if we’d disturbed a colony of bats.

My wife came in after we’d started, and told me later that

she could hear the whole sculpture vibrating, from outside it.

*

On the plane coming home, I took out my iPod, and started

listening to Stockhausen’s Mantra, a

richly detailed piece for two pianos, with some added percussion, and also with

electronic transformation of some of the piano sounds, so you think you’re

hearing some electronic version of John Cage’s prepared piano. Or two prepared

pianos. This is intricate music, which I’m learning very slowly, going back

over the first few tracks many times, to make sure I’ve absorbed it all. It’s

not that the events are tricky to grasp; they’re pretty simple, in some ways (lots

of repeated notes). But there are so many of them! And so richly varied, so

many harmonies (for instance) passing under and around a repeated minor third in

the introductory first section of the piece.

On the plane, though, it all seemed abstract, cold,

uninteresting. So I listened to Lucinda Williams. I have all her albums on my

iPod, except the eponymous one, her long-ago breakthrough, which — and can you

believe it, for someone so important? — is out of print, available only for

huge prices used. (Somewhere I might still have my LP copy, in a box in my

basement. My LPs went through a fire, but I wish I’d kept better track of them.)

lucinda%20williams%20eponymous.jpg

She grabbed me right away, from the first catch in her voice

in “Right in Time,” from Car Wheels on a

Gravel Road (“You left your mark on me/It’s permanent, a tattoo”). This was

what I wanted; something for my heart. “Lake Charles,” from the same album,

apparently about someone who died, though death is never spoken out loud; she

keeps naming places the man lived or liked, or music they heard, as if those

nameable remembered wisps were all she had to hang on to. Or “Ventura,” from

style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>World Without Tears, where she wants “to

get swallowed up in an ocean of love,” and evokes that ocean with a single

chord progression, four chords, repeating all through the song, over which she

somehow creates both a verse and the kind of soaring chorus that normally gets

its impetus from new chords. That’s harder, compositionally (just try it), than

writing a fugue.

I listened to her for more than hour, as happy as I’ve ever

been on a plane. And then she wore me out. It was too much.

Back to Stockhausen. Now Mantra

was everything I wanted — abstract, absorbing, detached. I was happy again.

And that’s how it is, at least for me, with classical music and pop. They do

different things (and not only the things I’ve described; pop can be detached,

classical music can set me on fire). I could never say which was better.

“Better for what?” I’d have to ask. I need them both in my life.

*

Note to Seth Rosenbloom: I’m going to post and reply to the

passionate comment you posted. It’s too long simply to stand as a comment; it

needs a blog post of its own, especially since it raises so many crucial

issues. Forgive me for not acknowledging it sooner.

Comments

  1. Improvisation has always been a difficult art for me, personally, since I have always been a re-creator at the piano. However, I am now finding that in playing the classics, there is a non-student feeling that comes upon me which renders me nearly in an improvisatory sense, which I like at my age now.

    I wish I was there to hear the sculpture vibrate–there have been occasions in certain situations when I was able to hear building sounds from the vibrations of the orchestra–although, one time, it wasn’t just the tympani playing so well–simultaneously, it was indeed a mild earthquake at the very same time. I knew it was simply too good to be true that the tympanist was able to get such a dynamic sensaround sound.

    Flying in airplanes, depending on the furation of the flight, wields the time to either read, listen to music, and for me, occasionally writing music or short stories. It’s a quiet time, that which is without emails, telephones, etc. We can focus on things we don’t typically have the time and space for. Perhaps record companies can come out with cds titled, ‘Flights of Fancy’–various compilations of works that make flying time easiest!

  2. ken nielsen says:

    Thank you, Greg, for an interesting and thoughtful entry.

    I cam to classical music after a love of jazz for many years and I do miss improvisation. It does seem odd that composers who try to use jazz themes in classical music they still want to put all the notes on paper. Or are there exceptions?

    I use my iPod mostly at the gym and on long flights. I haven’t found Stockhausen suitable for either. For him I need to be at home, preferably with headphones to aid concentration.

  3. Kit Stolz says:

    Re: Lucinda…I happened to see her perform last December at UCLA with her father, a wonderful and well-known poet named Miller Williams. He would read a poem, she would play a song, and so on, back and forth. But her songs were so powerful that soon she had him reading two poems per song, and even that wasn’t enough…after “Lake Charles,” with its heartbreaking chorus (“Did an angel whisper in your ear/hold you close and take away your fear/in those long last moments”) he admitted as much. She wore him out too!

    Thanks, Kit. Beautiful story.

  4. congratulations to you! you must be a one full of ambition, and also a one who would work hard to achieve it. by the way, i think the two words: niceful and excitingful should be altered to “nice and exciting”

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