Intermezzo

Like most of you, I’m sure, I get a lot of spam. But lately someone has been having fun with it — I’m getting messages that pretend to be from crazy names. Much as I hate the spam, I’ll congratulate the spammer, who’s weirdly, unforgettably inspired. (I imagine that it’s just one person making up the names, because the style — which I might describe as W. C. Fields gone totally insane — is so consistent.)

How could anybody think an offer could be real, when it claims to come from names like these?

Revitalize B. Germany

Anthrax T. Mending

Rabelasian J. Carting

Timelessness H. Lifia

Inalienable G. Stream

Specialist H. Dardanelles

Whisky T. Sniggering

Industrialist K. Legibly

Handball L. Margarita

Bobbie T. Suffragists

Defenders Q. Denomination

Hastiness E. Steadfastness

Tasked D. Bystander

Prophetically H. Recesses

Cashiers P. Blueberry

Insulting D. Holocaust

Dissimulating D. Tami

Furtively J. Act

Oration H. Arrest

Therapists O. Palatable

Parachuted D. Bunts

Broadsword V. Reduction

Stuttering U. Certify

Conferrer K. Latches

Reconstruction O. Inlaid

Bestows S. Wisecrack

Lordship L. Stranding

Zanzibar B. Trefoils

Buoys B. Disapproval

Demagoguery H. Dowdily

Guile J. Identifier

Skull H. Anaxagoras

Schoolteacher H. Favorite

Sauciest C. Flinty

Forecastle J. Republishing

Pigtail U. Emigration

Shylockian G. Hightailed

Clincher K. Wichita

Rou S. Streetcar

Placate G. Davit

Holster Q. Shovelfuls

Enduring R. Oculist