Learning to speak and listen…

I spent this past Friday and Saturday in Philadelphia with my fellow members of the Association of Arts Administration Educators board, of which I’m currently president. It’s a group of some of the smartest, funniest, and warmest folks you’re likely to meet…all earnestly committed to advancing the field by preparing extraordinary leaders for it. Our guide for the second day of the board meeting (we were ”retreating” for the purpose of strategic discussion) was John McCann, a fantastic facilitator who does a large chunk of work in leadership development — particularly for symphonies.

At the beginning of our board discussions, he invoked the words of educator, facilitator, and poet Judy Brown, and her ”guidelines for dialogue.” The suggestions struck me as extraordinarily useful for many situations, but particularly for arts organizations (boards, executives, staff, volunteers) hoping to listen more effectively to their audiences, their artists, and their communities — instead of just speaking to them. Here’s what she suggests:

• Speak from the heart and the moment, and from your own experience; listen from the community, from the collective;
• Listen without thinking about responding;
• Listen for information, not confirmation;
• Begin thinking in terms of “I wonder…” or “Where I am on this issue now is…;”
• Allow for silence; it may mean people are thinking, considering;
• Suspend assumptions and consider alternatives ones that might be just as useful;
• Assume that the ideas and observations of others come from a desire to contribute;
• Expect that ideas build upon each other even if they don’t link logically one to the other;
• Remember that difference of opinion can be helpful, because it sharpens our understanding;
• Move away from conclusions and toward observations; notice what you are noticing, and what meaning you are making of it;
• Sometimes in communication, less is better, and slowly is fine.

from Learning Organizations: Developing Cultures for Tomorrow’s Workplace, essay entitled ”Dialogue: Capacities and Stories”  by Judy Brown.