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Straight Up | Jan Herman

Arts, Media & Culture News with 'tude

HEADLINES AND STORIES TO LOVE

June 23, 2005 by cmackie

Earlier this week in Monday Morning Quarterback, a
regular correspondent wrote that Joe Biden “has the experience and the smarts to be a fine
president.” I myself like the Democratic senator’s shoot-from-the-lip style. But voting for him
over Hillary because “the Clinton baggage [might] make her easy to defeat,” as our correspondent
noted, is another matter. I’m not sure I want to vote for any candidate who is cut from the same
establishment cloth as the rest of the Beltway pols.


Be that as it may, my staff of thousands has asked me to point out the Biden baggage. So
here it is, headlined “Biden Looking At Presidential Run In
2008”
:



Senator Joe Biden confirmed that his statements on the CBS program
“Face The Nation” last Sunday were accurate, [and] he is taking the first steps of staffing.
Included in his staffing requirements will be a Proofreader and a Fact Checker.


Biden had to drop out of the 1988 race for the Democratic nomination, after it was revealed
he plagiarized parts of a speech by British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock and that he had
plagiarized in law school 20 years earlier.


Biden [above left, on NBC’s “Meet the Press” with Republican Senator Chuck Hagel, of
Nebraska] admitted that his campaign may come in fits-and-starts, as all his statements and
writings will be reviewed before being spoken or released for publication. “Just think of it of
watching a foreign movie with bad dubbing,” joked Biden.



My staff of thousands also adores this headline from the same source: “U.S. Military To Begin Abusing Bible / New Policy Cites Need To Be ‘Fair
and Balanced.'”
I’m partial to this one from another source: “Bush Diary — At Least the War in Eye-Rack is Becoming
Civil.”



Rummy tells me the war in Eye-Rack is becoming a civil war. I am so glad!
Courtesy is impawtant. Rummy says the Sunnys are blowing up the She-eye-tees and She-eye-tee
vigilantees are assassinating Sunnys, but I say that as long as they keep it civil we have less to be
conserned about. So it is good news from Eye-rack for a change!”

And this one caught my eye in today’s New York Times, “On a Rare Visit, Bush Talks Up Atomic
Power,”
:



George W. Bush on Wednesday made the first presidential visit to a nuclear
plant in 26 years, and declared, “It is time for this country to start building nuclear power plants
again.” [He] offered his thanks to those who showed him around, especially control-room
technicians, [and said, drawing chuckles,] “I can play like I understand what I
saw.”


While we sit still for it.

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Jan Herman

When not listening to Bach or Cuban jazz pianist Chucho Valdes, or dancing to salsa, I like to play jazz piano -- but only in the privacy of my own mind.
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