A reader writes: “This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what
it is today. Be sure to cancel your credit cards before you die — just in case.”
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March
for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the
monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, and now is somewhere around $60.00. A family
member placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member: “I am calling to tell you that she died in
January.”
Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late
fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “Maybe you should
turn it over to collections.”
Citibank: “Since it is two months past
due, it already has been.” Family Family Member: “So, what will they
do when they find out she is dead?”
Citibank: “Either report her
account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe
both!”
Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at
her?”
Citibank: “Excuse me?”
Family
Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you . . the part about her being
dead?”
Citibank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my
supervisor.”
Supervisor gets on the phone.
Family Member: “I’m calling to tell you, she died in
January.”
Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late
fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “You mean you
want to collect from her estate?”
Citibank: (stammering) “Are you
her lawyer?”
Family Member: “No, I’m her great nephew.”
(Lawyer info given)
Citibank: “Could you fax us a certificate of
death?”
Family Member: “Sure.” (Fax number
given)
After the fax was received:
Citibank:
“Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to
help.”
Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not,
you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will
care.”
Citibank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still
apply.”
Family Member: “Would you like her new billing
address?”
Citibank: “That might help.”
Family
Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number
69.”
Citibank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”
Family
Member: “What do you do with dead people on your
planet?”
Some urban myths are too good to believe but deserve to be spread.
