We’re so late on this it’s disgusting and ridiculous. A while ago The Washington Post’s Mensa
Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here were this year’s winners,
which the staff also forgot to post:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
5. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
6. Sarchasm: The gulf
between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
7.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
10. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious
bummer.
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
12.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
13. Dopeler
effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you
rapidly.
14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. Beelzebug
(n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the
morning and cannot be cast out.
16. Caterpallor (n.): The color
you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the
literature:
17. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an
a$$hole.
