This weblog talks a lot about how we ‘value’ culture (pricing, community support, etc.). So I couldn’t pass up the hilarious burst of responses to a recent story out of Germany. Sixteen violinists from the Beethoven Orchestra in Bonn are suing for a pay raise, because they play more during a performance than the other instrumentalists.
Today’s Chicago Tribune has a wonderfully sarcastic memo from arts critic Howard Reich on the issue, setting up a new pay scale for professional musicians:
Rather than the tired old union formula of salaries based upon years of service, musicians heretofore should be paid per note, a much more democratic approach, based on the following formula:
- 64th note: 1 cent; this is basically the most fleeting and insignificant note.
- 32nd note: 1.01 cents; it’s hardly different from the 64th note.
- 16th note: 1.02 cents.
- 8th note: 1.5 cents; it’s slow enough that you actually can hear the thing.
- Quarter note: 2 cents, and not a penny more.
- Half note: 1 cent; because it’s half as easy to play as a quarter.
- Whole note: .5 cent; easier still.
The memo goes on to suggest that rests should be counted as vacation time.
The Guardian took a more journalistic approach to the issue, soliciting comments from professional musicians on the idea of more pay for more play.
It all brings to mind that classic ‘efficiency memo’ about orchestral performance, in which a fictitious cost consultant was given orchestra tickets by his boss, and thought it was a work assignment. There’s a version of the resulting mock memo here.
