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Arts, Media & Culture News with 'tude

The Believer’s Gas

January 3, 2007 by Jan Herman

He has called himself The Decider. Now he wants to be known as The Cooperator? So it would seem from the ghostwritten gas of his horseshit op-ed column in today’s Wall Street Journal.

We’re still mulling a suitably demeaning term to substitute for our customary Bullshitter-in-Chief. Based on the column’s “I believe” graf, one staffer has suggested The Believer.
Here’s the graf, with footnotes for clarification:

I believe that when America is willing to use her influence abroad, the American people are safer and the world is more secure.1 I believe that wealth does not come from government. It comes from the hard work of America’s workers, entrepreneurs and small businesses.2 I believe government closest to the people is more responsive and accountable.3 I believe government plays an important role in helping those who can’t help themselves. Yet we must always remember that when people are hurting, they need a caring person, not a government bureaucracy.4

1 This is why I ordered up the war in Iraq.
2 This is why I believe in tax relief for the rich and nothing at all for the poor.
3 This is why I’m ignoring the midterm elections and am sending more troops to Iraq.
4 This is why I will pray everyday for the flood victims in New Orleans.


Postscript: The Believer was never under serious consideration.

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Jan Herman

When not listening to Bach or Cuban jazz pianist Chucho Valdes, or dancing to salsa, I like to play jazz piano -- but only in the privacy of my own mind.
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