The Believer's Gas

He has called himself The Decider. Now he wants to be known as The Cooperator? So it would seem from the ghostwritten gas of his horseshit op-ed column in today's Wall Street Journal.


We're still mulling a suitably demeaning term to substitute for our customary Bullshitter-in-Chief. Based on the column's "I believe" graf, one staffer has suggested The Believer.

Here's the graf, with footnotes for clarification:

I believe that when America is willing to use her influence abroad, the American people are safer and the world is more secure.1 I believe that wealth does not come from government. It comes from the hard work of America's workers, entrepreneurs and small businesses.2 I believe government closest to the people is more responsive and accountable.3 I believe government plays an important role in helping those who can't help themselves. Yet we must always remember that when people are hurting, they need a caring person, not a government bureaucracy.4

1 This is why I ordered up the war in Iraq.
2 This is why I believe in tax relief for the rich and nothing at all for the poor.
3 This is why I'm ignoring the midterm elections and am sending more troops to Iraq.
4 This is why I will pray everyday for the flood victims in New Orleans.

Postscript: The Believer was never under serious consideration.

January 3, 2007 9:56 AM |

Categories:

Me Elsewhere

'WILD SIDE' STILL ROCKS 

Nelson Algren was one of the great American authors of the 20th century, it is no exaggeration to say, and among the most neglected. Consider his underrated classic, "A Walk on the Wild Side." The title -- popularized and co-opted as an idiomatic phrase by Hollywood and Madison Avenue (institutions Algren loathed) -- is familiar to most anyone who speaks English or knows Lou Reed's lyrics. But the novel itself? Hardly.

BUSTER KEATON REVISITED 
Buster Keaton: Tempest in a Flat Hat is not a biography. "This book is merely a fan's notes," Edward McPherson writes in the introduction, although his publisher ignores the disclaimer and calls it a biography on the cover. In fact, the book is a bit of both, a difficult combination to bring off unless you're David Thomson, who set the standard with Rosebud, his penetrating rumination on the life and career of Orson Welles, which was nothing if not a distillation of every obsessive thought he ever had about the myth and the man and all his movies.
LAUREN BACALL, STILL SALTY AT 80 
When Lauren Bacall writes that her singing voice ranges "somewhere between B minus sharp and outer space," she's being candid and funny. It's not every stage star with two Tony Awards for best actress in a musical whose vocal talent offers so little promise. (OK, Harvey Fierstein excepted.) Still less would one admit it.
THE STARS ACCORDING TO BOGDANOVICH 
Peter Bogdanovich's superb collection of movie-star profiles and interviews -- a sequel to Who the Devil Made It, his interviews of top film directors -- begins with an affectionate tale about Orson Welles that reminds us just how intimate the author's connection to Hollywood's greatest has been. But contrary to what we've come to expect from dime-a-dozen celebrities and celebrity interviews not worth two cents, the tale avoids bromidic egotism and journalistic platitudes.
SAMMY'S WHITE DREAMS 
Four decades ago Lenny Bruce sentenced Sammy Davis Jr. to "30 years in Biloxi," stripping him of "his Jewish star" and "his religious statue of Elizabeth Taylor." Now we have two new biographies of Davis that spring him from ridicule, if not from doubts about his legacy, and restore a measure of dignity to a black entertainer whose huge fame and success never overcame his devout wish -- indeed his lifelong effort -- to be white.
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This page contains a single entry by Straight Up | published on January 3, 2007 9:56 AM.

2007: Time for Him to Go was the previous entry in this blog.

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