HEADLINES AND STORIES TO LOVE

Earlier this week in Monday Morning Quarterback, a regular correspondent wrote that Joe Biden "has the experience and the smarts to be a fine president." I myself like the Democratic senator's shoot-from-the-lip style. But voting for him over Hillary because "the Clinton baggage [might] make her easy to defeat," as our correspondent noted, is another matter. I'm not sure I want to vote for any candidate who is cut from the same establishment cloth as the rest of the Beltway pols.

Be that as it may, my staff of thousands has asked me to point out the Biden baggage. So here it is, headlined "Biden Looking At Presidential Run In 2008":

Senator Joe Biden confirmed that his statements on the CBS program "Face The Nation" last Sunday were accurate, [and] he is taking the first steps of staffing. Included in his staffing requirements will be a Proofreader and a Fact Checker.

Biden had to drop out of the 1988 race for the Democratic nomination, after it was revealed he plagiarized parts of a speech by British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock and that he had plagiarized in law school 20 years earlier.

Biden [above left, on NBC's "Meet the Press" with Republican Senator Chuck Hagel, of Nebraska] admitted that his campaign may come in fits-and-starts, as all his statements and writings will be reviewed before being spoken or released for publication. "Just think of it of watching a foreign movie with bad dubbing," joked Biden.

My staff of thousands also adores this headline from the same source: "U.S. Military To Begin Abusing Bible / New Policy Cites Need To Be 'Fair and Balanced.'" I'm partial to this one from another source: "Bush Diary -- At Least the War in Eye-Rack is Becoming Civil."

Rummy tells me the war in Eye-Rack is becoming a civil war. I am so glad! Courtesy is impawtant. Rummy says the Sunnys are blowing up the She-eye-tees and She-eye-tee vigilantees are assassinating Sunnys, but I say that as long as they keep it civil we have less to be conserned about. So it is good news from Eye-rack for a change!"

And this one caught my eye in today's New York Times, "On a Rare Visit, Bush Talks Up Atomic Power,":

George W. Bush on Wednesday made the first presidential visit to a nuclear plant in 26 years, and declared, "It is time for this country to start building nuclear power plants again." [He] offered his thanks to those who showed him around, especially control-room technicians, [and said, drawing chuckles,] "I can play like I understand what I saw."

While we sit still for it.