SEEING DIFFERENCES, AKA OUR PARALLEL UNIVERSE

The difference between a lead ballon and making nice at the United Nations may be the distance between the East Coast and the West Coast. Some might even think it's the difference between smart and stupid.

In the opinion of The New York Times, "Bush delivered an inexplicably defiant campaign speech" yesterday at the U.N. His "tone-deaf speechwriters achieved a perverse kind of alchemy, transforming a golden opportunity into a lead balloon." In the opinion of the Los Angeles Times, "Bush on Tuesday dispensed with the red-meat phrases beloved by his supporters on the campaign trail. ... Instead, the president was conciliatory, intent to show that he can play with others."

We looked online for editorials about the speech in The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, the Chicago Tribune, the Boston Globe, the Houston Chronicle, the Dallas Morning News, the Atlanta Constitution and the Miami Herald. There were none. Most were still stuck on the CBS flap.

Newsday's milquetoast editorial was less of an opinion than a news analysis with a pussyfoot headline: "President's rosy view of region's fate is belied by government reports." The writer must have had Super Sugar Crisp cereal for breakfast: "Bush reiterated that the world was better off without Saddam Hussein in power and that Iraq was on its way to becoming a democracy." Gee whillikens, imagine that.

Did I forget to mention the Washington Times? Nah, here's their worthless opinion: The "president forcefully rebutted assertions that the United States had rushed to war last year in order to remove Saddam Hussein from power."

And then there was the New York Post. No milquetoast pussyfooting for Murdoch's minions. The headline "DUBYA IN THE DESPOT'S DEN" came up short of "HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR." But their opinion was that "Bush, for his part, got it exactly right at the United Nations yesterday." We all know the New York Post exists in a parallel universe, don't we?