CATCHING UP WITH LEON

New verse has arrived about soon-to-be Prisoner of the Year:

MARTYR MARTHA

Martha Stewart: "There are many, many good people who have gone to prison. Look at Nelson Mandela."

Send me to jail, Martha pleads,
Even though I'm a star;
Nothing I did was wrong -- that's
Where the good people are.

-- Leon Freilich

It has also not escaped our notice that The New York Times keeps copping our stuff. This time they copped Straight Up's poet laureate, although, it must be said, not without his collusion.

Here's what happened: Earlier this week reporter Michael Luo wrote a story about etiquette on the New York subway, "Excuse Me. May I Have Your Seat?'" As Luo put it, the story explored -- take a deep breath -- "the web of unwritten rules that govern behavior underground, including the universally understood and seldom challenged first-come-first-served equity of subway seating."

This fascinating tale of guilt and dread and a thousand other human emotions drew letters to the editor from interested subway riders, not surprisingly, and from one weird guy who hails from Illinois. They were published under the headline "Is Chivalry Dead? Or Is It Underground? (6 Letters)" One of the letters went like this:

To the Editor:

Tension filled the humid air,
With subway riders looking beat,
As fearless reporters took the dare:
"Brother, can you spare a seat?''

-- Leon Freilich
Brooklyn, Sept. 14, 2004

I think it's wonderful that the Letters to the Editor editor of the Times recognizes the value of Leon's sublime poetry. But I hope, with all due respect, Leon doesn't go getting himself a swelled head.

Postscript: In the spirit of Beckett and others on Joyce ("Our Exagmination Round His Factification for Incamination of Work in Progress"), the poet responds:

Pinhead one day,
Swelled head the next;
Only a saint
Would not be vexed.