THE RUMMY AND THE DUMMY

They're two for the books. Both are in denial and cannot be believed. Either they're born liars or they've learned how to lie with impunity. Or, to be charitable, they're simply ignorant of their own policies and decisions.

THE RUMMY

After a week of news stories with these headlines about the Abu Ghraib interrogation-cum-torture scandal, "Inquiry Faults Intelligence Unit for Abuses at Iraqi Prison" and "Report Is Likely to Prompt Criminal Charges" and "A Trail of 'Major Failures' Leads to Defense Secretary's Office" and "Findings on Abu Ghraib Prison: Sadism, 'Deviant Behavior' and a Failure of Leadership," Rummy Boy had the gall to tell two separate audiences in Phoenix there was no evidence that prisoners had been abused during interrogations.

The first time he "misspoke," on the radio, his exact words were, "I have not seen anything thus far that says that the people abused were abused in the process of interrogating them or for interrogation purposes." The second time, at a news conference, he repeated that and added, "all of the press, all of the television thus far that tried to link the abused that took place to interrogation techniques in Iraq has not been demonstrated." (Italics mine.)

After an aide slipped him a note, Rummy Boy conceded that "two or three" cases of abuse had, in fact, been found by the Army investigation. But even his correction was a "mischaracterization," to put it politely. "In fact," according to reporter Eric Schmitt, "the Army inquiry found that 13 or 44 instances of abuse involved interrogations or the interrogation process. The [inquiry] report itself explicitly describes the extent to which each abuse involved interrogations."

THE DUMMY

After news stories this week with these headlines, "Administration Shifts on Global Warming" and "U.S. Report Turns Focus to Greenhouse Gases," the Nincompoop in Chief has denied the shift, then claimed ignorance of it -- "Ah, we did? I don't think so" -- even though the report is online, as reporter Andrew C. Revkin points out, and "is accompanied by a letter signed by Mr. Bush's secretaries of energy and commerce and his science adviser."

The story in The New York Times characterized the report to Congress as "a striking shift in the way the Bush administration has portrayed the science of climate change ... indicating that emissions of carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases are the only likely explanation for global warming over the last three decades." The Washington Post was more modest, saying merely that the report "goes further than previous statements by President Bush."

Here -- from the transcript of an interview by reporters Elisabeth Bumiller and David Sanger -- is the Nincompoop in Chief conceding, finally, that maybe he doesn't know what's going on:

Ms. Bumiller: Mr. President, why did your administration change its position on what causes global warming?
THE PRESIDENT: I don't think we did.
Ms. Bumiller: According to --
THE PRESIDENT: I don't think so, Elisabeth.
Ms. Bumiller: You said that it's almost certainly carbon monoxide -- which you hadn't said in the past, carbon dioxide.
THE PRESIDENT: I think that was my position during the campaign, if I'm not mistaken.
Ms. Bumiller: It changed --
At this point the Nincompoop's spokesman interrupts: "You're talking about the National Academy of Science report?" Ms. Bumiller replies: "Yes, yes." As if to say, "What the hell else could we be talking about?" To which the Nincompoop's spokesman offers typical boilerplate that his boss "has done a lot in terms of climate change" blahblahblah.
THE PRESIDENT: Let me get back with you on that, because I think you might -- I don't know why you said what you just said.
Ms. Bumiller: Well, we had a story in the paper this morning saying that you issued a report saying --
THE PRESIDENT: Oh, okay, well, that's got to be true.

Which makes everything all better, right? We know the Nincompoop in Chief doesn't read newspapers if he can help it -- or so he's said -- but short of finding out what his own policies are from his own appointees, he ought to start having somebody read the newspapers to him. Laura has said she does, but apparently she skips the important stuff.