ONE MORE INTERRUPTION

Our search for a hideout continues. But we couldn't let this go: As tipped by Arts & Letters Daily, Ann Crittenden's essay "What Do Mothers Want?" asks the question: "Why has the U.S. never had a decent system of child care? One feminist answer, 'dumb men, stupid choices,' is long overdue."

Far be it from us to suggest another, less catchy if more accurate summary. But we feel obliged. Here tiz: "Mothers are struggling valiantly to find a framework or story line that coherently explains the causes of their discontent."  The truth is, we prefer ALD's summary. May we illustrate with a description of "The Next Survivor Series"? It came to us in email, like so:

Six married men
will be dropped
on an island with
one car
and
four kids each,
for six weeks.
Each kid plays two sports
and either takes
music or dance classes.
*****
There is no access to fast food.
*****
Each man must take care of his four kids,
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.
*****
The men only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and
all chores are done.
There is only one TV between them
and there is
NO REMOTE.
*****
The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
which they must apply themselves,
either while driving or
while making four lunches.
*****
They must attend weekly PTA meetings;
clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m.;
make an Indian hut model
with six toothpicks,
a tortilla
and one marker;
and get a 4-year-old to eat a serving of peas.
*****
The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.
*****
The last man wins ...
only if ...
he has enough energy to be intimate
with his spouse at a moment's notice.
*****
If the last man does win, he can play the game
over and over again
for the next 18-25 years ...
eventually earning the right to be called
*****
"Mother."

And yes, we're aware "The Next Survivor Series" has been making its way around the Web for some time in different versions. We just thought it timely and apropos to mention now.