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Straight Up | Jan Herman

Arts, Media & Culture News with 'tude

BAD TASTE AS A DOOMSDAY THEORY

February 18, 2004 by cmackie

It looks like bad taste may bring the world to an end in what’s being called the Big Rip. Not
content with being the bête noire merely of aesthetes and high-minded critics, bad taste
has become a new obsession for cosmologists trying to understand “a mysterious force called dark
energy [that] seems to be wrenching the universe apart.”


This dark energy — also termed phantom energy — “crosses a boundary of good taste,” says
Darmouth physicist Robert Caldwell, co-author of a paper exploring “the possibility that a
mysterious force permeating space-time will be strong enough to blow everything apart, shred
rocks, animals, molecules and finally even atoms in a last seemingly mad instant of cosmic
self-abnegation.”


Bad taste is the stuff of “bad news,” Caldwell says, because, as Dennis Overbye writes in The New York Times,
“Phantom energy violates physicists’ intuitions about how the universe should behave.” Good
taste would mean less weirdness. Imagine what could happen, short of a galactic apocalypse. A
chunk of phantom energy “could be used to prop open wormholes in space and time — and thus
create time machines, for example,” Overbye writes.


Other scientists are equally dismayed. One says it’s “unphysical, but we’re not ruling it out.”
Robert Kirshner, of the Harvard Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, tells Overbye that the idea
of a mysterious force wrenching the universe apart had been dismissed as “too strange.” Kirshner
says, “It sounds wacky, but I think we’re in a situation where we’re going to need a really new
idea. We’re in trouble. … It might be our ideas are not wild enough, they don’t question
fundamentals enough.”


Is it possible that 21st-century scientists need to take a cue from the bad taste of “Lord of the
Rings” director Peter Jackson? His first full feature film, made in 1983, put him way ahead of the
game. Titled, yes, “Bad Taste,” it’s been called “a testament to what can
be done with a small budget and a lot of dedication.” That’s something cosmologists ought to
keep in mind with the expected loss of the Hubble Space Telescope, which could help measure
the parameters of phantom energy.


Perhaps scientists should borrow one of the posters for that movie — < B>Good  Taste Made Bad Taste — as sandwich boards to lobby for continuation
of the Hubble program. Or if it’s not too disgusting, they might consider screening “the
particularly gruesome effects” in Jackson’s low-budget “Braindead” for NASA administrator Sean O’Keefe
as part of a “save the
Hubble”
campaign.

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Jan Herman

When not listening to Bach or Cuban jazz pianist Chucho Valdes, or dancing to salsa, I like to play jazz piano -- but only in the privacy of my own mind.
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