“Neglect Paul Krassner at your own risk.” So sayeth Skeets Gallagher. Krassner’s most recent
Zen Bastard column in the New York Press, begins
with a tidbit about Der Gropenfuhrer that must have had the Los Angeles Times eating its
Maybe I should start selling “I Told You So” t-shirts. Five years ago, I
published this item: “Here’s a story about the arrogance of power even the tabloids won’t publish.
At a dinner party, Arnold Schwarzenegger told a young woman he would give her $1000 if she
would stick her finger up her ass and then let him smell it. She refused. Later, he followed her into
the bathroom and forcibly stuck his own finger up her ass. He did not pay her. She is an actress
and has not brought a lawsuit because she fears it would hurt her career in
And he reminds us:
The morning after California’s recall election, on “The
View,” Meredith Vieira demonstrated to Joy Behar the new governor’s special handshake.
Vieira simply placed her right hand on Behar’s left breast. Amidst laughter and applause, Behar
asked, “Can I please have my nipple back now?”
Nobody has ever accused Krassner of lacking imagination. But given the facts as he
understands them, he doesn’t need to imagine anything. Not when scientific studies, the Internet,
television and the news media offer prime material that requires no embroidery. The rest of his
column, taken directly from all those sources, is proof that all he does is make the indispensible
connections. That, of course, does require a Zen master.
Postscript: Krassner isn’t the only one mocking Der Grope.
Dave Letterman’s getting in his licks.