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Straight Up | Jan Herman

Arts, Media & Culture News with 'tude

TIME OF THE LEMMINGS

October 8, 2003 by cmackie

It’s already old news that the lemmings have spoken. But now that they’ve elected Arnold Schwarzenegger as
governator of Culifornia, what’s next? Running Clint Eastwood for president? Re-animating
Sylvester Stallone and running him for senator? That’s too obvious. How about doing something
really subtle. Let’s join Sen. Orrin Hatch’s campaign to amend the constitution so Arnold can run
for president.


When the world’s most famous bodybuilder-turned-action-hero first ingratiated himself with
the Republican Party — “Hello,” he said. “I’m Conan the Republican” — people thought he was
tongue-in-cheek clever. When he married Maria Shriver, they thought he was a helluva lot
cleverer. By feeding the lemmings what they wanted yesterday — a “not-Gray-Davis” android with
a household name — he’s proved yet again how clever he is, finally transforming himself into what
another writer once presciently called “a large Austrian male Statue of Liberty.” Nothing could be
more oxymoronic, unless it’s a compassionate conservative.


Postscript: The virtual Frank Sinatra has a cold. His 40-foot-high,
three-dimensional image has run into technical problems. Producers of “Sinatra: His Voice. His World. His Way.” — a
special-effects extravaganza designed to re-animate the crooner — have postponed tonight’s debut
at Radio City Music Hall in New York. But the show will go on, beginning Tuesday. Following
the engagement, Sinatra may run for mayor.

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Jan Herman

When not listening to Bach or Cuban jazz pianist Chucho Valdes, or dancing to salsa, I like to play jazz piano -- but only in the privacy of my own mind.
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