I know, it’s tradition. Every year about this time, another carol and generally, you don’t read it. But this will be the last one ever, so please make it count.
Each year, we attempt a rather bad parody of a famous holiday poem or song to run on the Tuesday before US Thanksgiving, the least likely time you’ll read it. Let alone sing it.
This year, we destroyed a lovely tune made famous by Nat King Cole, “Caroling, Caroling” by Wihla Hutson & Alfred S. Burt. As always, these things are pretty cringe-worthy, but no more so than believing that nonprofit art is a product and not the means to a charitable end. Or relentlessly delivering a seemingly endless number of arbitrary year-end emails, texts, and phone calls.
Oh boy! Giving Tuesday is on the way! Happy harrying!
IT’S A SINGALONG, FOLKS, SO LET ME HEAR YOU!
All through December appeals arrive,
Time for year-end giving!
“Our little opera is barely alive,
Time for year-end giving!”
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“Look, we did Bohème for you!”
(Charged three hundred dollars, too!)
Ka- 💰 Ching! 💳 Ka- 📲 Ching! 💵
Time for year-end giving!
Emails, letters, and phone calls ring,
Get your tax-exemption!
Donors don’t care about any such thing,
Get your tax-exemption!
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Now, because it’s end of year,
Arts nonprofits scream in fear,
“Give! Give! Give! Give!
Get your tax-exemption!”
(Instrumental Break. Cue the kazoos.)
Charity, charity, send a check,
While we just do our thing,
Charity toward the community? Heck,
No, we’ll do our own thing.
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We don’t care ’bout homeless kids,
Social justice, hit the skids!
“Art! Art! Art! Art!”
We’ll just do our own thing.
Pandering, pandering to elites,
Art is for the rich folks,
Gilding their names to the back of the seats,
Art is for the rich folks.
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Toxic donors, toxic staff,
Shooing off diverse riff-raff,
Ding! Dong! So wrong!
Art’s not just for rich folks.
(Last verse, slowly and with passion. Make it count, people!)
Measuring impact is what you do,
Time to make a “Scene Change!”
Community’s needs? Well, that job’s for you,
Time to make a “Scene Change!”
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Arbitrary dates don’t work!
Neither does a bribe or perk,
Read! Read! Read! Do!
Three books for your “Scene Change!”
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