Last Thursday when I came home from work, followed by a two-mile run and high intensity circuit workout, I was not in the mood to make the chickpea turmeric soup I had planned to whip up for us to eat that night. It was the middle of the week. The dark, winter days were getting to me. I was not prepared to spend an hour of my evening in the kitchen when the couch and my book were looking at me, calling my name. To paint the picture more clearly, I ritually cook a meal from scratch every night of the week. I simmer sauces. I roast vegetables. And, every Sunday my girlfriend and I plan what we are eating for each meal during the week and we (typically!) stick to it.
Needless to say, when she walked in the door not a mere five minutes later, I knew I had to think fast and get ready to state my case for leftovers. It wasn’t particularly difficult since she had worked late the night before and missed the excellent vegan teriyaki meatballs still residing in the fridge. The point is, as you all know, we negotiate everyday. All the time. Even with ourselves. The difference is that we don’t tend to think of these as negotiations, but conversations, a part of the everyday. This is notably true when it is with yourself, your spouse or your friend because you know these personalities well. You know the way they think and how they might react. So, when we’re asking for a raise or that extra day off we continue to let this word give us anxiety.
In this video, Shirli shares that negotiations are conversations. Yes, it’s true! Watching this video allowed me the opportunity to remember that this word, negotiation, which seems terrifying at times and takes us to a competitive state, is much more approachable. I need this reminder when it comes to talking the talk even though I can totally handle the leftover meal plan without hesitation. I crave the idea of internally reframing negotiation as a conversation where results are co-created. This is after all what it is truly about.
So, what’s for dinner?
Image provided through the Creative Commons License on Flickr. CC Kathleen Franklin.