“The critics’ circle was in session when he arrived. They met in the Asshole Room of the Hotel Asshole, as far as Max was concerned. His mind tasted quite foul now, and spewed little bits of garbage into his mouth. He had better not talk too much tonight. He had not written his review, and he felt guilty and hungover about that; not, as he had hoped, roguish and liberated. They sat at a long baize-covered table with various-colored potions in front of them, looking, to Max’s yellow eye, like wizards, alchemists, dwarfs.
“They were talking, his fatheaded circle, about the admission of new members. Jack Flashman, wise guy emeritus at the other news magazine, was on the agenda. ‘Frankly,’ said Isabel Nutley of Women’s Thoughts, ‘I don’t think he quite comes up to our standards.’ ‘If we had any standards at all, half of you wouldn’t be here,’ growled the tireless Bruffin. ‘Gentlemen, gentlemen,’ said the chairman. ‘I don’t know–who writes the stuff on that magazine anyway? How can you tell? Flashman may be dead, for all we know.’ ‘He’s a gossip writer, for Christsake. What does he know about the theater?’ ‘What do any of you know about the theater?’ ‘Gentlemen, gentlemen.’ ‘Frankly, if Flashman gets in, I quit. I can’t stand the guy.’ ‘That’s too damn bad, we’ll miss you, honey, but Flashman happens to write for a very important magazine. You can’t just ignore it.’ ‘What’s wrong with gossip writing? Most of you don’t even reach that level.’ ‘Gentlemen.’
“As he looked at their small maniac faces round the table, fighting like cannibals over a dead missionary’s pants, Max thought, What you need around here is nothing less than a spiritual rebirth. Let me bring it to you! Let me start the ball rolling. But their eyes were crazed, myopic, their voices high and fanatical; they operated out of little glass bowls, and no one could come in.
“‘What do you say, Max?’
“‘I say, why not?’ Max said with staring eyes. ‘Why should any man carry through life the stain of being rejected by this damn fool society?'”
Wilfrid Sheed, Max Jamison