Sign of the Apocalypse

And lo, in the last days even he who had forever sworn that he would rather have his eyeballs penetrated with vanadium wires than own a cell phone will relent, and choose ringtones.

- Nostradamus

For Christmas I asked for, and received, a cell phone, which officially means that every adult, child, and household pet in America now has one, since I was determined to be the last holdout. But I got too tired of people who asked for my cell phone number looking at me as though I had shown up at their formal party in knee breeches, or had just cooked the last surviving panda for dinner – in short, the way I’ve always looked at people who won’t do business by e-mail. I’m a writer, and I prefer to communicate by writing, in which medium I have hardly ever lost an argument. But you’ll never get my cell phone number, never. Dick Cheney has it, and a couple of composers so obscure that they may need emergency PR, but the point is not so I can be reached, but so that I may reach. Got a question, send me an e-mail.

Related
TwitterFacebookRedditEmail

Comments

  1. peter says

    You can always leave it switched off, Kyle, which is almost the same as not having one. Even Dick Cheney won’t know where you are then.