What Kind of People Hate Minimalism?

An excess of spicy food last night got me up extra early this morning, and I ended up where I often end up in the wee hours: Wikipedia. I noticed on my “watch list” that a change had been made to the Minimalism entry, and upon checking, found that the word “chicken” had been unaccountably added to a quote by Tom Johnson. A moment later, I found inserted into the text this line:

i think the music is very boring and to repitive so please get rid of it!!! [sic]

(One concludes the words “too” and “repetitive” were deemed too repetitive as well.) I reverted, and saw that both changes had been made by someone whose computer IP address was Looking up his other activity, I found that he had committed eight acts of vandalism in the “Stem Cell Controversy” entry, and that he had replaced an entire paragraph of Keanu Reeves’s biography with the sentiment, “he is GAY! lololololololololol.”

UPDATE: I note that, pursuant to further adventures, has been blocked by Wikipedia administrators. The block was extended after he worded a request to end the temporary block thusly: “unblock me you fucking twats or il shove a spade up your old wrinkley ass[.]” clearly harbors modernist sympathies, and is not the type likely to interpret musical stasis in terms of cultural relativism.


  1. Paul Beaudoin says

    Seems like the morning Wikipedia read was excessively spicy as well. I can’t even imagine critiquing Minimalism, vandalizing Stem-Cell Controversies (8 times no less!) and outing Keanu Reeves all in one day.

  2. says

    Kyle: I don’t know what’s on your to-do list, but “Eight Acts of Vandalism in the Stem Cell Controversy” is a terrific title for a piece.
    KG replies: You’re right. Please, take it, with my compliments.
    UPDATE: I just tried to press it on a student as the title for his new orchestra piece, but he didn’t buy it.

  3. says

    Actually there’s a clear link between minimalism, stem cell research, and Keanu if you think about it.
    Stem-cells represent fundamental building blocks of life, and the research involves cloning them over and over and over in order to be able to do things like mass-produce replacement livers and things. Highly repetetive and process-oriented.
    And Keanu Reeves is a notoriously affectless actor, much in the way that a lot of hard-core minimalism is very static and cold. Plus, he was in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, which creates an infinitely repeating chronological loop/paradox where the characters who have already been through the adventure meet their earlier selves to offer advice on what is to come, they themselves having recieved just such advice not long before. It’s like a time-travel version of Piano Phase or something.
    All I can say is that Wikipedia had better watch out, because clearly the entries on Pogo Sticks, Men’s Office Attire, and Lungs are going to be hit next.

  4. richard says

    I’ve always wondered if serial music was written by, and for trolls. Now I know the answer!

  5. mclaren says

    Searching for valid information in Wikipedia is like climbing a mountain of manure in order to pluck a rose — by the time you’ve reached the top, you’ve lost your sense of smell.

  6. says

    Great detective work, Kyle! Finally there is the all too elusive connection between spicy food and Minimalism. Also, thanks to Alex for his explanation. I always wondered what Boulez did with his off time.