Artworld Luminaries' 2007 Resolutions

I made a list and checked it twice: art stories that raised questions in 2006, which need to be answered in 2007. Here's a mischievous list of hypothetical New Year's resolutions by 10 artworld players who have been naughty or insufficiently nice:

Malcolm Rogers: I will hire more guards for the Boston Museum of Fine Arts and see to it that they are better trained.

Ronald Lauder: I will make sure that that the Neue Galerie promptly posts the Nazi-era provenance of the works in its collection, as repeatedly promised.

Michael Govan: All right, already! I WILL agree to talk to Tyler Green.

Neil MacGregor: Now that CultureGrrl has designated me as her number-one pick for next director of the Metropolitan Museum, maybe I WILL grant her a brief interview whilst I meet with the Met's trustees. Might I spare a half-hour in 2013?

Stephen Siegel, spokesperson for the FBI, Newark: Because of the legitimate public interest in this information, I will announce the name of the shipping company on whose watch (or lack thereof) Goya's "Children With a Cart" was carted off, en route to the Guggenheim.

Francesco Rutelli: Instead of merely depleting the antiquities collections of U.S. museums and "rewarding" them with temporary loans, I will work to create a framework for a more open market, whereby international museums can legally acquire types of material that Italian institutions already possess in superabundance.

Lisa Dennison: I will belatedly make good on my pledge to credit Guggenheim curators for their work, by including their names in introductory wall texts for their exhibitions.

Steve Wynn: I will wear elbow pads when I'm around valuable paintings.

Alice Walton: I will drop my generous offer to buy the Statue of Liberty for the sculpture garden of my new museum in Bentonville. John Wilmerding tells me that it's not by an American artist.

Mayor John Street: I will extend to the Greater Philadelphia Area my proposed registry of important works that may need protection if threatened by possible sale or removal from their locality. What's good for Philadelphia is good for Merion, where the Barnes Foundation is a local cultural treasure.

Such resolutions have about as much probability of being kept as CultureGrrl's New Year's intention to blog less and devote more time to serious long-form writing.

Better luck keeping yours!