Most Honorable Urgent Financial Transaction, Please

Most Honorable Sir:

You and I have never met, but I had been told you are man of much integrity and Christian feelings. I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis. It has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phillip Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. You may know him as Senator Gram, leader of the American banking deregulation in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% percent safe. I assure.

This is matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds quickly. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance by police. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren. Plus Social Security. And anything you find lying around that might have winning numbers. Lottery tickets or horse race stubs. Email nformation to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for said transaction. After I receive nformation, I respond with details about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully,

Minister of Treasury Paulson

Money image from statebankofarthur.com