Playgirls

Over at Buzz Feed, they're all a-buzz about Porn for Women, the new photo book from the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative. It features muscular male models cleaning house, taking out the garbage and declaring themselves eager to snuggle or listen to complaints endlessly.

Not a spoof -- certainly not, not with the name "Cambridge" associated with it, and that word, "Cooperative," that's a sure sign of earnestness, too -- Porn for Women has sparked the humorless tirades one might expect, plus the occasional giggle and some groans over the rather retro and mostly sexless self-portrait of women it offers -- drawn from all those surveys that led to these conclusions. Ah, the social sciences! Let's check their bibliography and statistical results, shall we?

What no one seems to have noticed is that the book is based on a completely faulty premise.

A man who'll vaccuum the house, who'll lend an appreciative ear: Women certainly like these things, they'd appreciate them. But they're not -- as the Cooperative puts it with such scientific precision -- what "gets women hot." Trust me. If men like that truly did turn women on, George Clooney and Daniel Craig wouldn't have careers. Does anyone believe women look at those two and fantasize about sharing a cup of chamomile tea?

Right. Remember all those "sensitive new males" in the '80s and '90s? Remember how many women soon declared themselves disgusted with their whining and wished for the return of the silent, hunky fireman-hero type?

I'm unemployed -- sorry, I mean, freelancing -- these days. I have plenty of time to clean house and do the laundry. And my wife Sara is grateful. But our lives have not zoomed into sweaty dreamland. That's partly because Sara started teaching elementary school full-time six months ago. I'm lucky if I can see her when she's not falling asleep exhausted over a pile of student papers.

So -- in my deeply masculine, widely experienced yet humble opinion -- what precisely does turn women on?

I haven't the foggiest. You got me. New drapes? I'm completely clueless.

April 11, 2007 8:51 AM | | Comments (0)

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Richard Price's best novel since Clockers, Lush Life is a slice of life on the Lower East Side, complete with the ghetto kids, the new bohemians, the old Jews and the cops. A restaurant manager at 35 fears he's no longer the wannabe artiste who'd turn into a full-blown artiste some day. When he sees a younger version of himself get shot during a mugging (and then gets blamed by the cops), he comes apart. Price takes these cultures and stares through all of them. Lush Life is a crime novel, a terrific literary thriller, a sampler of Price's namebrand talents with dialogue and deadpan humor. Price is after more than just law-and-order, crime-and-punishment, justice-is-served. This is a portrait of big-city America..You think The Wire, Law and Order, the old Homicide are the best TV has to offer? This is all that -- between covers.

In Life Class, Booker Prize-winner Pat Barker returns to World War I, the setting for her magnificent Restoration trilogy. Where those novels followed shell-shocked poets Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfrid Owen through their convalescence, Life Class follows three painting students (based on real Slade School artists Christopher Nevinson and Paul Nash) as the war approaches. Elinor wants little to do with the war or with men: They're distractions from her art. Kit, a hot, young futurist, is primed for the war's industrialized destruction, while Paul flees his working-class background. As usual with Barker, the sexual relationships, war-time atmosphere and gruesome battlefield details are brilliantly conveyed: Her prose is lean but lyrical, compassionate yet cool-headed. No character is quite as compelling as Regeneration's bitter bisexual, Billy Prior, but the Great War's upheavals in art and combat, sex and class, provide Barker with material for exceptional historical novels. A new trilogy? One hopes so.

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