• I could play piano like Count Basie. (Nat Cole would do.)
• I could cook the fishcakes I ate here last Saturday.
• Patience came more naturally to me.
• I were funnier.
• I had a deeper voice. (My all-time favorite speaking voice, by the way, is that of James Mason.)
• I could read Proust in the original.
• I’d met Paul Desmond.
• I owned this. (Fat chance, alas, though I tried.)
• I weren’t so clumsy.
• OGIC and CAAF lived on my block.