The Art of Dissertation Writing: "Enhanced Modeling"

I've been on-topic for way too long. Let's now wander completely off-topic.

The resignatons of Hawass and Levine notwithstanding, to me the most important news event of last week was the designation of CultureDaughter as a PhD-to-be (to become official at May graduation). On Thursday, she presented an enthusiastically acclaimed defense of her doctoral dissertation, entitled (take deep breath):

Enhanced Propagation Modeling of Directional Aviation Noise: A Hybrid Parabolic Equation---Fast Field Program Method

Huh??? That a daughter of mine could have written such a thing (and that a report with such an unwieldy headline could have been judged by one of her committee members as "one of the best written" dissertations that he's ever seen) defies motherly comprehension.

I'm inordinately proud, of course, as well as extremely grateful that I wasn't asked for any editorial guidance on this over-my-head project. I'm also cautiously hopeful that my daughter'deep understanding of aviation noise will do something to mitigate the buzz of JFK flights that have recently been rerouted to pass over my apartment's terrace overlooking the Hudson River.

Am I allowed to take a little credit for the "best written" part? I relentlessly supplemented our local schools' insufficient writing instruction by tearing apart what she and my son (also now a good writer) produced. My constant parental refrains were: "Writing is power" and "Go clean your room!"

Notwithstanding the school system's writing deficiencies, its music and drama instruction was first rate, as Lea Michele, the star of "Glee," can attest. She got her start as Lili in the high school production of "Carnival" that I attended.

Does all this mean that I now need to refer to our family's ranking scholar as "Dr. CultureDaughter"?

Let the acoustic engineer job search begin. Her first interview, this Wednesday, relates not to the skies but to the seas---underwater acoustics. (Who knew?) Alas, I have thus far failed to persuade her to address the more pressing acoustic needs of Avery Fisher Hall.