Michael Brand Lives Up to His Name

The name's Brand. Michael Brand.

The suave Australian, with his rugged good looks and daring international exploits in Italy and Greece, has until now been neither shaken nor stirred by the press. We were giving him time to figure out how to clean up the messes left behind by others at the J. Paul Getty Museum, where he was named director last August.

But now that Brand has tried to brand the Getty, the honeymoon is over.

We can't blame the new director for the Munitz munificence (benefiting himself and associates) or the antiquities antics. But Michael, the rampaging pig was let loose on your watch.

I refer, of course, to the already infamous ad campaign announced last week, wherein the masterminds at the M&C Saatchi ad agency devised what its press release terms a "breathless tagline" to showcase the Getty's recent Rubens acquisition, "The Calydonian Boar Hunt":

Rampaging Pig Tramples Man as Caped Hero Delivers Death Blow!

This is not the first time that a museum has toyed with philistine ad slogans: The late curator Kirk Varnedoe once publicly recounted that "See it before we pull the plug!" was briefly under consideration as tagline for the Museum of Modern Art's Bonnard retrospective (referring to the artist's several late works depicting his ailing wife in bathtub). Happily, good taste prevailed.

The wits at the LA Times came up with their own breathless taglines for important works in other local museums. The spoofing possibilities are endless. (I'll refrain, finding myself unable to come up with anything that surpasses the Saatchi absurdity.)

On its website, the ad agency proudly describes its approach to branding as "Brutal Simplicity":

The strongest brands are the simplest.
The most valuable can be described in one word.
We provide our clients with the global ownership of one word.
One word equity requires Brutal Simplicity of Thought.
Once we have found and tested the word, we spread the word.

We can only wonder what brutally simple word the California Attorney General's Office may choose to describe administrative irregularities at the J. Paul Getty Trust, when it finally issues its long-awaited report on its investigation. The report was anticipated this week, but is now set for release some time next month.