{"id":672,"date":"2006-10-24T09:11:32","date_gmt":"2006-10-24T13:11:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp\/2006\/10\/alternative_scenarios\/"},"modified":"2006-10-24T09:11:32","modified_gmt":"2006-10-24T13:11:32","slug":"alternative_scenarios","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/2006\/10\/alternative_scenarios\/","title":{"rendered":"ALTERNATIVE SCENARIOS"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><B><br \/>\nBRUSH WITH FAME<br \/>\n<\/B> <BR><BR><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/mysite.verizon.net\/triley60\/colbert.jpg\" align=\"left\" alt=\"\">My sister texted me about being behind Steven Colbert in a rental car line last week, asking what she should say. Naturally, I knew exactly how to handle it:<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n1) Hey I loved you in 40-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN!<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n2) Your show&#8217;s great but give the telethon a rest!<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n3) Hey it&#8217;s you! Is it true you like spectral sushi?<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n4) You know those crop circles in Europe? I did those.<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n5) You look so much shorter in person! You look so much thinner in person! You look so much funnier in person!<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n6) Colbert, you&#8217;re the best mole Fox News ever had&#8230;<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n7) Steve! O&#8217;Reilly called&#8230; he wants his tie back.<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n8) How did that nasty Florida paternity suit work out?<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n9) I&#8217;m so sorry Mr. Colbert &#8212; we have a car waiting for you but Abdul came to work with his padded vest again. May I take that for you?<br \/>\n<BR><BR><br \/>\n10) Loved your GOT MILK ad!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>BRUSH WITH FAME My sister texted me about being behind Steven Colbert in a rental car line last week, asking what she should say. Naturally, I knew exactly how to handle it: 1) Hey I loved you in 40-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN! 2) Your show&#8217;s great but give the telethon a rest! 3) Hey it&#8217;s you! Is it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-672","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-main","7":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=672"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=672"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=672"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/riley\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=672"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}