{"id":390,"date":"2006-03-02T01:04:00","date_gmt":"2006-03-02T09:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp\/?p=390"},"modified":"2006-03-02T01:04:00","modified_gmt":"2006-03-02T09:04:00","slug":"a_flat_but_sharp_story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/2006\/03\/a_flat_but_sharp_story\/","title":{"rendered":"A Flat, But Sharp, Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Several versions of a joke usually beginning something like, &#8220;A note walks into a bar&#8230;.&#8221; are floating around the internet. Buddy DeFranco forwarded the most elaborate I&#8217;ve seen. The <em>Rifftides<\/em> management makes no claims about the reliability of the musicology in this tale:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\nA C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: &#8220;Sorry, but we don&#8217;t serve minors.&#8221; So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.<br \/>\nA D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, &#8220;Excuse me. I&#8217;ll just be a second.&#8221;<br \/>\nAn A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.<br \/>\nThen the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: &#8220;Get out now! You&#8217;re the seventh minor I&#8217;ve found in this bar tonight.&#8221;<br \/>\nThe E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: &#8220;You&#8217;re looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development.&#8221; This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel.<br \/>\nEventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he&#8217;s under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.<br \/>\nThe bartender decides, however, that since he&#8217;s only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest &#8211; and closes the bar. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Several versions of a joke usually beginning something like, &#8220;A note walks into a bar&#8230;.&#8221; are floating around the internet. Buddy DeFranco forwarded the most elaborate I&#8217;ve seen. The Rifftides management makes no claims about the reliability of the musicology in this tale: A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-390","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-main","7":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/rifftides\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}