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Archie Pops the Question, to …

May 28, 2009 by Jeff Weinstein

Archie Comics engagement.jpgSo who will the wrinkled redhead bring to bed — assuming he hasn’t already?

As a fourth-grade student at Midwood, Brooklyn’s P.S. 238, I struggled with my carrot-top best friend, another Jeffrey, over who was Archie and who Reggie. (Jeffrey and I also shared the same weird middle name!) But as any constant Out There reader can anticipate, although I studied those comics hard to see which of the two I wanted to be, I was much more “interested” in the other light-dark pair, sunny blonde Betty and well-born brunette Veronica.

In those dim times, little boys as well as big divided the world of girls (white girls, natch) into blondes, brunettes, and redheads. When we stuffed the corner-grocery cardboard ballot box with our choice for New York’s own Miss Rheingold, most of the votes were really for Kodacolor hair.

Miss Rheingold, by the way, was a big deal. In 1959, total votes were over 22 million; only the presidential election drew more. Pre-Birds Tippi Hedren, Hope Lange and even Grace Kelly were sometime candidates. (Grace Kelly was rejected for being “too thin.”)

 

miss-rheingold-1953.jpgAnyway, all the boys divided our little-girl friends into Bettys and Veronicas. (Where is Debby Kinsbrunner now? She and I once had a date our mothers took us to, at the local NBC studio to be audience for the hot new quiz show, Hugh Downs’ Concentration. Debby was a definite Betty.)

All these years later, we finally know on whose hand Archie will place that ring. Any guesses? (Careful, spoiler follows.)

Not Betty’s!

And not Veronica’s!

Yes, turns out that I am Jughead, and Jughead, Archie’s betrothed, is happier than he ever thought possible.

Reggie is furious, as I always hoped he would be.

Jughead.jpg 

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Filed Under: main Tagged With: Archie Comics, Betty, gay marriage, gay rights, Miss Rheingold, Veronica

Comments

  1. Martin says

    May 29, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Haha. Thanks for the funny article.
    Martin

Jeff Weinstein

Based in New York, I've been an editor of arts coverage at New York's "Soho Weekly News" (1977-79); of visual arts and architecture criticism and much else at the "Village Voice" (1981-95, with a stint as managing editor of "Artforum"); of the fine arts at the "Philadelphia Inquirer" (1997-2006); of arts and culture at "Bloomberg News" (2006-07). Until recently... Read More…

Out There

The media make a potentially fatal mistake by dividing arts coverage into high and low, old and young, and by trivializing our passionate attraction to things. In Out There I propose that all creative expression has the potential to be both … [Read More...]

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I wrote and narrated a Daylight Magazine slideshow (click on "Read more" below to access it and the rest), an appreciation of the late photographer Milton Rogovin. Also one about the late photographer Helen Levitt. To go back in time, kindly click … [Read More...]

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