Our search for a hideout continues. But we couldn’t let this go: As tipped by Arts & Letters Far be it from us to suggest another, less catchy if more accurate summary. But we feel Six married men
\nDaily<\/FONT><\/EM><\/B><\/A>, Ann Crittenden’s essay “What Do Mothers
\nWant?”<\/FONT><\/EM><\/B><\/A> asks the question: “Why has the U.S. never had a decent
\nsystem of child care? One feminist answer, ‘dumb men, stupid choices,’ is long overdue.” <\/P>
\n
\nobliged. Here tiz: “Mothers are struggling valiantly to find a framework or story line that
\ncoherently explains the causes of their discontent.” The truth is, we prefer ALD’s
\nsummary. May we illustrate with a description of
\nus in email, like so:<\/P>
\n
will be dropped
on an island with
one
\ncar
and
four kids each,
for six weeks.
Each kid plays two sports
and
\neither takes
music or dance classes.
*****
There is no access to fast
\nfood.
*****
Each man must take care of his four kids,
keep his assigned house
\nclean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects, cook, do laundry,
\netc.
*****
The men only have access to television
when the kids are asleep
\nand
all chores are done.
There is only one TV between them
and there
\nis
NO REMOTE.
*****
The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup
\ndaily,
which they must apply themselves,
either while driving or
while making
\nfour lunches.
*****
They must attend weekly PTA meetings;
clean up after their
\nsick children at 3:00 a.m.;
make an Indian hut model
with six toothpicks,
a
\ntortilla
and one marker;
and get a 4-year-old to eat a serving of
\npeas.
*****
The kids vote them off the island, based on
\nperformance.
*****
The last man wins …
only if …
he has enough energy to
\nbe intimate
with his spouse at a moment’s notice.
*****
If the last man does win,
\nhe can play the game
over and over again
for the next 18-25 years …
eventually
\nearning the right to be called
*****
“Mother.”<\/P>
\n