{"id":646,"date":"2004-04-30T09:22:26","date_gmt":"2004-04-30T16:22:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp\/2004\/04\/equations_and_relations\/"},"modified":"2004-04-30T09:22:26","modified_gmt":"2004-04-30T16:22:26","slug":"equations_and_relations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/2004\/04\/equations_and_relations.html","title":{"rendered":"EQUATIONS AND RELATIONS"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><P><B>Romance Mathematics<\/B><\/P><br \/>\n<P>Smart man + smart woman = romance <BR>Smart man + dumb woman = affair <BR>Dumb<br \/>\nman + smart woman = marriage <BR>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy <\/P><br \/>\n<P><B>Office Arithmetic<\/B><\/P><br \/>\n<P>Smart boss + smart employee = profit <BR>Smart boss + dumb employee = production<br \/>\n<BR>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion <BR>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime<br \/>\n<\/P><br \/>\n<P><B>Shopping Math<\/B><\/P><br \/>\n<P>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. <BR>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she<br \/>\ndoesn&#8217;t need. <\/P><br \/>\n<P><B>General Equations &#038; Statistics<\/B> <\/P><br \/>\n<P>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.<br \/>A man never worries about<br \/>\nthe future until he gets a wife.<br \/>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife<br \/>\ncan spend.<br \/>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.<\/P><br \/>\n<P><B>Happiness<\/B> <\/P><br \/>\n<P>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.<br \/>To be<br \/>\nhappy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. <\/P><br \/>\n<P><B>Longevity<\/B><\/P><br \/>\n<P>Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.<\/P><br \/>\n<P><B>Propensity to Change<\/B> <\/P><br \/>\n<P>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn&#8217;t.<br \/>A man marries a<br \/>\nwoman expecting that she won&#8217;t change, and she does.<\/P><br \/>\n<P><B>Discussion Technique<\/B> <\/P><br \/>\n<P>A woman has the last word in any argument.<BR>Anything a man says after that is the<br \/>\nbeginning of a new argument.<\/P><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Romance Mathematics Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy Office Arithmetic Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-646","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-main","7":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbvgEs-aq","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}