{"id":17785,"date":"2015-09-25T11:10:16","date_gmt":"2015-09-25T15:10:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/?p=17785"},"modified":"2022-02-08T13:25:24","modified_gmt":"2022-02-08T18:25:24","slug":"going-whole-hog-the-prime-minister-the-pigs-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/2015\/09\/going-whole-hog-the-prime-minister-the-pigs-head.html","title":{"rendered":"Going Whole Hog: The Prime Minister & the Pig\u2019s Head"},"content":{"rendered":"

The British press has been having a field day with tales of Prime Minister David Cameron’s crush on a pig during his student days at Oxford. Maybe “crush” is the wrong term. How about “necrophiliac oral sex.” My tireless staff of thousands doesn’t presume to know the gory details. But it has taken notice of reports on this side of the pond — in the Daily Beast<\/a>, for example, and on the Op-ed page of The New York Times<\/a>. Here, as an entertaining interlude to the solemn and interminable news coverage of the Pope’s visit to New York, are the British poet-polemicist Heathcote Williams’s observations with some lovely illustrations:<\/p>\n

\n

The Necrophiliac Extremism of a Bestial Fellator<\/span><\/center>
by Heathcote Williams<\/center><\/p>\n
\"\"<\/a>

Illustration: Elena Caldera<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n

While he was a member of an Oxford dining club,
\nDavid Cameron fucked a pig\u2019s head.
\nHe snorted coke in his quest for upper class girls,
\nAnd called it \u2018Woodling\u2019 when he took them to bed.<\/p>\n

The pig\u2019s head had been severed for a club feast.
\nAnd initiation rites of crude bestiality.
\nWho would have thought he\u2019d go on to greater things
\nLike waging war and enforcing cruel austerity?<\/p>\n

Pranksters have now given the pig its own Twitter handle,
\n\u2018Hashtag Piggate\u2019, in which the pig complains
\nOf a nasty taste in its mouth that the future Premier
\nLeft behind when he climaxed and came.<\/p>\n

The Bullingdon Club is notorious for its culture
\nOf despising the disadvantaged and the poor.
\nBut the ghost of a dead pig has now exposed Tory excess
\nAnd with any luck will be showing them the door.<\/p>\n

<\/center><\/p>\n

\"Cartoon<\/a><\/p>\n

The hapless Premier is now greeted by cries of \u2018Oink!\u2019
\nAs supermarket bacon gives him the eye.
\nCaptive pigs now text him in the hope of their liberation.
\nHe regrets not keeping his penis in his fly.<\/center><\/p>\n

\"pig3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

People will be looking at his wife and wondering
\nHow she matches up to a dead pig.
\nPeople will imagine his Tory chums braying and cheering
\nAs they watch this louche necrophile frig.<\/center><\/p>\n

\"pig4\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But at the time it was \u201cfun\u201d to rape the face of a dead animal,
\nWhile dressed up in a tail-coat with silk facings.
\nIt was fun to fuck a pig\u2019s head while snorting white powder
\nIt would surely add to the gaiety of nations.<\/center><\/p>\n

\"pig5\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At the same time this young Conservative was campaigning
\nFor Nelson Mandela to be hanged.
\nYet to fellow Tories this \u2013 and being noshed by dead pigs \u2013
\nWas not in the slightest bit strange.<\/center><\/p>\n

\"pig6\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The hot-blooded Cameron advanced upon the pig\u2019s head
\nHeld between a Bullingdon diner\u2019s thighs.
\nHe grabbed it by the ears and plunged himself inside
\nMaking boisterous grunts then satisfied sighs.<\/center><\/p>\n

\"pig7\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Later he\u2019d callously scrap the Human Rights Act;
\nHe\u2019d kill twelve thousand in Libya;
\nHe\u2019d sell weapons to the nastiest Arab dictators
\nWhile promoting a plutocratic utopia.<\/center><\/p>\n

\"pig8\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Through his sharing the US fetish for bombing
\nMillions would seek a safe haven
\nBut when faced by the consequences of his actions
\nHe\u2019d callously look in the opposite direction.<\/center><\/p>\n

\"pig9\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Cameron\u2019s an avid foxhunter and a devotee of drones:
\nKilling animals and triggering assassination.
\nAfter sucking up to media moguls to get himself elected
\nThey\u2019re now savouring his pig\u2019s reincarnation.<\/p>\n

Heathcote Williams<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/center><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

For your further entertainment, Alan Cox narrates the poem with his own montage.<\/center>