{"id":1536,"date":"2007-01-03T09:56:36","date_gmt":"2007-01-03T17:56:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp\/2007\/01\/the_believers_gas\/"},"modified":"2007-01-03T09:56:36","modified_gmt":"2007-01-03T17:56:36","slug":"the_believers_gas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/2007\/01\/the_believers_gas.html","title":{"rendered":"The Believer’s Gas"},"content":{"rendered":"

He has called himself The Decider<\/strong><\/font><\/a>. Now he wants to be known as The Cooperator? So it would seem from the ghostwritten gas of his horseshit op-ed column<\/strong><\/font><\/a> in today’s Wall Street Journal.
\n<\/a>
\nWe’re still mulling a suitably demeaning term<\/strong><\/font><\/a> to substitute for our customary Bullshitter-in-Chief<\/strong><\/font><\/a>. Based on the column’s “I believe” graf, one staffer has suggested The Believer.
\nHere’s the graf, with footnotes for clarification:<\/p>\n

I believe that when America is willing to use her influence abroad, the American people are safer and the world is more secure.1<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong> I believe that wealth does not come from government. It comes from the hard work of America’s workers, entrepreneurs and small businesses.2<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong> I believe government closest to the people is more responsive and accountable.3<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong> I believe government plays an important role in helping those who can’t help themselves. Yet we must always remember that when people are hurting, they need a caring person, not a government bureaucracy.4<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

1<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong> This is why I ordered up the war in Iraq.<\/i>
\n2<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong> This is why I believe in tax relief for the rich and nothing at all for the poor.<\/i>
\n3<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong> This is why I’m ignoring the midterm elections and am sending more troops to Iraq.<\/i>
\n4<\/SUP><\/font><\/strong> This is why I will pray everyday for the flood victims in New Orleans.<\/i><\/p>\n


\nPostscript:<\/strong> The Believer was never under serious consideration.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He has called himself horseshit op-ed column in today’s Wall Street Journal. mulling a suitably demeaning term to substitute for our customary<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1536","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-main","7":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbvgEs-oM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1536"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}