{"id":1246,"date":"2005-10-02T15:49:23","date_gmt":"2005-10-02T22:49:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp\/2005\/10\/change_the_light_bulb\/"},"modified":"2005-10-02T15:49:23","modified_gmt":"2005-10-02T22:49:23","slug":"change_the_light_bulb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/2005\/10\/change_the_light_bulb.html","title":{"rendered":"CHANGE THE LIGHT BULB"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"U.S.<\/a> It’s making the rounds on the Internet. But we like it anyway.
\nQuestion:<\/strong> How many members of the chief bullshitter’s regime does it take to change a light bulb?
\nAnswer: <\/strong>Ten.
\n1.<\/strong> One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
\n2. <\/strong>One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;
\n3. <\/strong>One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;
\n4.<\/strong> One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;
\n5.<\/strong> One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;
\n6.<\/strong> One to arrange a photograph of the bullshitter, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner ‘Bulb Accomplished’;
\n7. <\/strong>One regime insider to resign and in detail reveal how the bullshitter was literally ‘in the dark’ the whole time;
\n8.<\/strong> One to viciously smear No. 7;
\n9.<\/strong> One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how the chief bullshitter has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
\n10.<\/strong> And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
\nAnd we’re still<\/i> sitting in the dark because no one has changed the lightbulb.
\n— Tireless Staff of Thousands<\/i>
\nPostscript:<\/strong> A reader writes: “Don’t you think that the enlightened would change the lightbulb themselves? Oh, wait, that would require effort. Honestly, it’s rather tedious to continue the rhetoric, Jan. Most of us have seen the light.” — Joan Hunt<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1246","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-main","7":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbvgEs-k6","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1246"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1246\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/herman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}