{"id":3375,"date":"2016-06-23T23:00:25","date_gmt":"2016-06-24T03:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/?p=3375"},"modified":"2016-06-23T10:22:33","modified_gmt":"2016-06-23T14:22:33","slug":"welcome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/2016\/06\/welcome\/","title":{"rendered":"Welcome"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"(C)<\/a>

(C) Andy DelGiudice DGDCPhotography<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Think of a time that you didn\u2019t feel welcome.<\/p>\n

As a woman who is the soon-to-be-wife of a woman who prefers buttons and a collar over scoop necks and pencil skirts, the inevitable wedding suit shopping experience loomed in my future.<\/p>\n

We went together. For moral support. We knew nothing about suits. A gorges? What\u2019s that. No one dared approach us. They stared, wondering why we were in this foreign land. We asked a gentleman to help us find a grey suit. He asked us what size the gentleman for which we were shopping was. Upon learning the actual intendant of this garment, the surprise on his face was so obvious any confidence we had quickly diminished. Nevertheless, he managed to point to a few that \u201cmight work for us.\u201d We asked for a different size in a particular jacket. He trotted away to go and look for said jacket. Never to return. Too busy with folks fitting his idea of who should shop, buy and wear a suit. We\u2019re used to it. We can fend for ourselves.<\/p>\n

We headed toward the dressing room. The attendant responded to our request to try on with disturbance, \u201cYou?\u201d We insisted. Her reply was met with an eye roll and, \u201cWell, if you\u2019re comfortable.\u201d As if we were about to walk into an open room where men are changing together, high fiving and yeah bra-ing the best outfit. We took a breath of relief when we learned that, alas, it was simply private changing rooms.<\/p>\n

We decided that there was something we\u2019d purchase. We headed to another section to check out. We wanted nothing to do with those who wanted nothing to do with us. The man who rang up our items\u00a0was lovely. We bonded over Morocco and the floral pattern we selected. He headed to get a garment cover for our purchase. From the suit section. He returned. A slight bit of concern on his face. The suit department was annoyed. All purchases should be rung in their section. Commission. The audacity. We laughed. They didn\u2019t deserve it. If anyone did, it was this lovely gentleman who stood in front of us. This gentleman who returned, smiled even.<\/p>\n

This company is highly rated on HRC\u2019s corporate equality index<\/a>. How? I am not sure. They seem to only support\u00a0members of the LGBTQ community who fit the gender binary and traditional gender roles and expressions. This isn\u2019t even the wedding industry. This is a commercial business. Things deepen inside an industry built around the long-standing tradition of seeing marriage valid only between man and woman.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me started on vendors that have forms stating:<\/p>\n

Bride\u2019s name: __________
\nGroom\u2019s name: _________<\/p>\n

Words cannot begin to detail the emotional roller coaster of anxiety, anger, embarrassment that consumed me that afternoon, but this isn\u2019t the only space or time I\u2019ve felt this in my life. Not even close. In fact, it is so common that I expected it. I knew it was coming. And the wedding industry isn\u2019t the only time in which we confront exclusionary spaces, forms or people.<\/p>\n

Following the close of the annual American Alliance of Museums conference last month, the Welcoming Guidelines<\/a> developed by the LGBTQ Alliance, a professional network of the American Alliance of Museums, passed through my Twitter feed \u2013 thanks to The Incluseum<\/a>. As I read through, I squealed, spun around in my chair and smiled for a full hour. The Incluseum\u2019s post on the guidelines asked, \u201cWhat happens if LGBTQ and allied visitors arrive at an institution and face restrooms they don\u2019t feel comfortable using, wayfinding or interpretive materials that render them invisible, or membership and program registration forms where they cannot accurately describe their own identities and the composition of their families?\u201d<\/p>\n

It is no surprise that the guide begins with these lines, \u201cthink of a time when you didn\u2019t feel welcome.\u201d As I read and re-read, I found myself thinking about this suit experience. About all the experiences I\u2019ve had where I didn\u2019t feel welcome, because I was holding the hand of a woman, or otherwise.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t hold on to that negativity for too long, so I inevitably began to think of all of the places where I did feel I was welcome, wanted. Those are the spaces I want to create.<\/p>\n

The guidelines state, \u201cIn order for LGBTQ persons to trust, attend and support museums generally, we need to see that institutions exhibit and obey ethical standards for making choices that are respectful to LGBTQ persons, families and interests.\u201d It goes without saying, that I believe that this surpasses only the museum sector. As a person working in the field of arts and culture, I couldn\u2019t be a more fervent advocate for bringing this thinking into all aspects of my work. Ask my colleagues how I constantly challenge our questions and policies in regards to gender and sexual orientation.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t speak for the entirety of the LGBTQ community, but as a part of it, I can speak for myself. I do critique stores, brands and organizations for the exclusionary practices they either actively or passively practice. I do share these experiences with my peers, my colleagues, my family, and right now, the world. Arts organizations are not immune to this criticism.<\/p>\n

I celebrate organizations like SOMArts<\/a>, a leader in our sector in making the move to gender neutral restrooms and Transformer, for refusing to back down in the face of censorship and not only screen David Wojnarowicz\u2019s Fire in my Belly<\/em><\/a> but host public dialogue and ignite action.<\/p>\n

I encourage you to not only continue to think about how you and the space you work in is welcoming, across the board, but to do something about it. Ask your team how you might make that question more gender inclusive. Ask your LGBTQ constituents how they feel when participating in that dance class. Ask and then do something about it.<\/p>\n

In the wake of the tragedy in Orlando on Sunday, June 12 I am reminded that even our most sacred and safe spaces are threatened. We\u2019ve come a long way, but being queer in public is still a radical act. Let us all remember how hate breeds violence and do our part to make this world a better and more welcoming place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Think of a time that you didn\u2019t feel welcome. As a woman who is the soon-to-be-wife of a woman who prefers buttons and a collar over scoop necks and pencil skirts, the inevitable wedding suit shopping experience loomed in my future. We went together. For moral support. We knew nothing about suits. A gorges? What\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":46,"featured_media":3376,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[709,67,489],"coauthors":[677],"class_list":{"0":"post-3375","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-stories-from-the-field","8":"tag-lgbtq","9":"tag-museums","10":"tag-place","11":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/46"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3375"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3382,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375\/revisions\/3382"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3376"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3375"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/fieldnotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=3375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}