{"id":4513,"date":"2016-06-01T02:00:48","date_gmt":"2016-06-01T06:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/?p=4513"},"modified":"2016-05-31T10:52:53","modified_gmt":"2016-05-31T14:52:53","slug":"making-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/2016\/06\/making-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Making Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Nala\"

Nala<\/p><\/div>\n

It has been over a year since I found an excuse to write about Nala (our dog). (Art and Puppies<\/a>) The time to do so again has come. Recently I was walking her and saw a woman eye us and back away. As we passed she said, almost apologetically, “I’m afraid of dogs.” I could have explained to her that Nala is a sweetheart who just wants to be loved and to love everybody, but as we passed I simply said, “I understand.”<\/p>\n

This raised two thoughts that are, believe it or not, germane to this blog. The first is that some people with whom arts organizations might want to engage have had negative interactions with the arts. Hard for some to believe, but true\u2013for example, interactions seeking ticket purchases or expressions of support without any reciprocity or real concern for them. They are not going to welcome overtures (I struggled to find a less punny word, but failed) from us. In addition, the arts establishment is so tied, in the minds of many, to power and privilege that its representatives may not be welcome at their doors. We are not unanimously viewed as golden retriever puppies.<\/p>\n

To engage with some (most) people requires patience and persistence that demonstrates genuine interest.<\/p>\n

The other thought was that like Nala, who at 18 months old is still described by our vet as “exuberant,” we can sometimes be over-eager to bond, metaphorically jumping up in the faces of would-be new friends before they are comfortable with us or even know us. There is, in the development of any relationship, a period in which it is appropriate to curb our enthusiasm in ways that are appropriate to the current level of trust and familiarity. At the risk of boring repetition, relationships take time.<\/p>\n

Engage! (with wisdom)<\/p>\n

Doug<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As lovable as we see ourselves, that’s not a universal view. Relationships must develop gradually, recognizing the need to develop trust over time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4512,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Making Friends: As lovable as we see ourselves, that's not a universal view","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[12,13,39],"class_list":{"0":"post-4513","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-principles","8":"tag-arts","9":"tag-community-engagement","10":"tag-relationships","11":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Nala2016-e1459887601460.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1G6h9-1aN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4010,"url":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/2015\/03\/art-and-puppies\/","url_meta":{"origin":4513,"position":0},"title":"Art and Puppies","author":"Doug Borwick","date":"March 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Art and Puppies: \"How can we make our art more like dogs?\" (Thanks Nina Simon!)","rel":"","context":"In "Principles"","block_context":{"text":"Principles","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/category\/principles\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/NalaWithPumpkin2014-e1424892138185.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5002,"url":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/2017\/08\/storm-brewing\/","url_meta":{"origin":4513,"position":1},"title":"Storm Brewing","author":"Doug Borwick","date":"August 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Another shot in the public policy wars about funding inequity in the arts.","rel":"","context":"In "Principles"","block_context":{"text":"Principles","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/category\/principles\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/StormBrewing-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3720,"url":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/2014\/07\/community-engagement-%e2%89%a0-charity\/","url_meta":{"origin":4513,"position":2},"title":"Community Engagement \u2260 Charity","author":"Doug Borwick","date":"July 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"A couple of weeks ago my blogging buddy Trevor O'Donnell posted one of his parting essays, \"Community Engagement is a Lousy Way to Sell\u00a0Tickets.\" [Disclosure: we had been corresponding on the subject in the days ahead of that post.] In it he highlights the fact that community engagement does not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Overview"","block_context":{"text":"Overview","link":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/category\/overview\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"090806-N-6220J-004","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/SoupKitchen-e1404330931502.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4504,"url":"https:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/engage\/2016\/05\/the-work-will-do-the-work\/","url_meta":{"origin":4513,"position":3},"title":"“The Work Will Do the Work” ??","author":"Doug Borwick","date":"May 4, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\"The Work Will Do the Work\" ?? 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