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Hot photo tips for violinists: your next cover shot (not)

The tumbler aggregator has been gathering publicity pics of our stringed friends. The best one can say of them is: gauche. The worst: just don’t.

handsome guy shirtless

1 Always check your shirt before posing.

nakedviolin2

2 Hats should not be worn. Ever. Or watches.

nakedviolin3 3 Is that a bow, or a chainsaw?

nakedviolin4

4 As per number 1

nakedviolin5

5 This is not a back-scratcher.

Can anyone name these artists?

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Comments

  1. James Pestell says:

    Are they all Mike Yarwood?

  2. Don’t know who they are, but they sure look fit as a fiddle! :)

  3. robcat2075 says:

    Those are identified as “stock” photos which means a photographer got a model to pose with a prop in an attempt to create sellable clip art. They are probably not publicity for a pictured performer.

    If they were publicity photos for a performer they wouldn’t be offered as stock photos.

  4. John Soloninka says:

    Only the last one has the possibility of being a violinist, but the pose is soooo awkward…it must almost hurt! The other pics have cheapo violins and their bow holds clearly indicate they have no idea what they are doing.

    Hilarious!

  5. Brian L says:

    artists? lol lol lol
    Not one of them is an actual violinist – from: A. the way they hold it , or , B. the “firewood” nature of the instrument in the photo. ($53.00 + change at the local pawn shop?)
    Criticism goes to the absolutely daft advertising agency or marketing guru that decided a violin is a romantic or artsy addition… but forgot to get an actual violinist.

  6. This reminds me of how you flip through, say, Symphony Magazine and see all these ads that are just a headshot of some handsome guy, and then text underneath: “MARIO TORRIBOLTOCELLI-VON MECKLENBURG: VIOLINIST” and then the phone number of his management. It makes me wonder if people will really just look at a headshot and say “huh! Let’s look into this guy!”

  7. Richard Hallam says:

    Norman, you cover the great (sometimes, late) in the classical/orchestral arena, you cover the difficult, the contentious even, but it’s the album covers that do it for me. Keep them coming!

  8. no.

  9. Theodore McGuiver says:

    I’d like to know how they think a badly held musical instrument will advance their careers. Still, it worked for Paul McCartney…

  10. They all look exactly like the types of artists that Universal Classics like to sign, good packaging, but no content.

    • Except if you look at the artist roster for the main Universal Classics labels, that’s just not true, is it?
      What classics label currently has a violinist that matches your description? Instead, they bring you Hilary Hahn, Julia Fischer, Lisa Batiashvili, Leonidas Kavakos, Janine Jansen, Anne Sophie Mutter et al. A fair bit of content there, would you agree?

  11. Janet Shell says:

    For goodness sake – I am surprised you put these up. They are clearly ‘sexy’ photos of models – next up we will have female harpists all over the page and their harps

  12. Steve Wogaman says:

    Given the fine tuners on every string, it’s a safe bet that NONE of these are artists.

  13. The first 4 shots are definitely of non-players holding the bow and/or instrument incorrectly. But I myself have used one of my violins once as a back scratcher until I found that a bow is easier to manipulate and reaches more places more effectively. Fashion hint: avoid getting rosin marks on your clothes.

    –Sixtus

  14. The last photo looks like it could be of Vanessa-Mae. Or maybe not.

  15. Kenneth Patchen says:

    Uhmm, isn’t the last photo Sarah Chang? Perhaps attempting her best Hendrix playing-behind-the-back routine?

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