The Belgrade Philharmonic Orchestra has placed the following advert on its Facebook page. It is supposed to be a satirical protest by the orchestra’s director Ivan Tasovac against the new laws for public procurement, but it suggests something of the anarchy prevalent in an organisation that cannot keep its conductors.
Here’s a translation from the Balkans Daily:
- Belgrade Philharmonic announces tender for hiring a conductor for concert performance of first, third and fourth acts of Brahms (we will not perform second acts in the future, because they are usually slow and boring).
- Persons who will take part in tender should have a pleasant looks, and own a dark suit, white shirt and black bow-tie.
- It is desirable but not obligatory for persons applying to have their own conductor’s baton (stick or branch of similar length and width). The interested parties must supply a confirmation signed by two witnesses that they have experience in tying laces on dark shoes (offers by parties wearing moccasins will not be taken into consideration).
- Persons who take part in the tender must be over 18 years old, and Belgrade Philharmonic will, as a sign of support by the Ministry of Culture, start negotiations with the Institute for mental health in order to fulfill necessary conditions so that the tender committee can get their permanent offices in Palmoticeva street where the Institute is located.