an blog | AJBlog Central | Contact me | Advertise | Follow me:

Ten music predictions for 2011

1 The New York Philharmonic will pick the wrong man to
succeed Zarin Mehta (they won’t even interview a woman).

                                                                                                      press photo courtesy NYPO

2 Placido Domingo will not retire on his 70th
birthday (why does the poster say he’s older?).

3 Anna Netrebko will cancel (who says she’s a no-show?)

 

                                                                                                  press photo courtesy dpa

4 Joyce DiDonato won’t.

5 Valery Gergiev will arrive late at three concerts out of
four (too busy with his main best friend?)

6 The Dutch will talk about scrapping orchestras, and do nothing. 

 

7 Wicked old Citibank will break up EMI. 

8 The new Helsinki hall will be an acoustic marvel. Free
Nokias with season subscriptions.

 

9 The New York Times will continue the free PR service for Alan
Gilbert and Peter Gelb (and free bagels, too).

 

                                                                     photos (c) New York Times

10 A classical accordionist will have a record hit. 



Happy New Year from Slipped Disc.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments

  1. I confess before you, my Slipped Disc brothers and sisters, that I have been tempted and found wanting. Since some temptations are too good to be resisted, I declare a moratorium on my moratorium of the other day regarding accordion jokes. With that, here is a press release about #10. ;-)
    There will be a classical accordion release in 2011…or, if it is not released, it may escape. Noted American accordionist Alfred Matthew Yankovic (I won’t incur the wrath of certain music critics by getting too familiar and calling him “Weird Al”) will soon have a
    CD of classical hits, and Norman has already shown the cover art for it. It will include transcriptions for accordion and orchestra of Kabalevsky’s “The Comedians,” Smetana’s
    “Dance of the Comedians” from his opera “The Bartered Bride,” and comedy overtures by Sir Hamilton Harty, Sir William Walton, and Ernest Tomlinson. Rights for the “Punk Polka” have yet to be cleared due to concerns from The Toons chamber ensemble, but it is hoped that this will round out the CD.
    This CD will also feature the Lindley Armstrong Jones Festival Orchestra, recently formed in honor of the centenary of this noted American conductor, percussionist and music depreciation lecturer, whose 100th birth anniversary will take place on 14 December 2011. In keeping with the solemnity of this hysteric occasion, I shall not be so disrespectful as to refer to the late Maestro Jones by his common nickname of “Spike.” The Jones Festival Orchestra consists of 100 cracked…er, crack players from member bands of the American Silly Orchestra League, an organization recently formed to give new life to American classical music and to a much-missed old acronym.
    Marie Lamb has the honor of being the maestra in charge of this maelstrom. In memory of Maestro Jones, Ms. Lamb will follow his time-honored practice and will conduct the orchestra using two pearl-handled Smith & Wesson pistols, which have been loaned for the recording by a music-loving member of the NRA. We are grateful for this contribution to this hysterically-informed recording.
    As for Maestro Yankovic, he will play an accordion that was last publicly played at the 2008 New York State Senior Games, when veteran U.S. jazz radio host Leo Rayhill kept a long-standing promise and shot it in the bellows from 60 feet away during the archery competition.
    Funding for the project has been generously provided by Allstate Insurance, the Noise Abatement Society, and the Coalition for Collision Repair Excellence. Funding from a consortium of musical instrument repairers was withdrawn after a heated disagreement as to whether the accordion is, in fact, a musical instrument.
    In support of the recording, Maestro Yankovic, Maestra Lamb and the Jones Festival Orchestra will undertake a multi-city skateboard, Yugo and Segway scooter tour of the United States. After the tour ends on the West Coast, Maestra Lamb will conduct the assembled forces in John Adams’ “Short Ride in a Fast Machine,” and then, by popular demand of music lovers across America, will take a long walk off a short pier. For more information….(sound of bubbles)

  2. T. Robador says:

    11. People will make lots of predictions, and Cecilia will shrug and keep playing the organ.

  3. Yi-Peng Li says:

    Mr. Lebrecht,
    Would Warner be likely to fall like EMI in the next 12 months? Might it be a valid prediction for the next year?

an ArtsJournal blog