Like most of you, I’m sure, I get a lot of spam. But lately someone has been having fun with it — I’m getting messages that pretend to be from crazy names. Much as I hate the spam, I’ll congratulate the spammer, who’s weirdly, unforgettably inspired. (I imagine that it’s just one person making up the names, because the style — which I might describe as W. C. Fields gone totally insane — is so consistent.)
How could anybody think an offer could be real, when it claims to come from names like these?
Revitalize B. Germany
Anthrax T. Mending
Rabelasian J. Carting
Timelessness H. Lifia
Inalienable G. Stream
Specialist H. Dardanelles
Whisky T. Sniggering
Industrialist K. Legibly
Handball L. Margarita
Bobbie T. Suffragists
Defenders Q. Denomination
Hastiness E. Steadfastness
Tasked D. Bystander
Prophetically H. Recesses
Cashiers P. Blueberry
Insulting D. Holocaust
Dissimulating D. Tami
Furtively J. Act
Oration H. Arrest
Therapists O. Palatable
Parachuted D. Bunts
Broadsword V. Reduction
Stuttering U. Certify
Conferrer K. Latches
Reconstruction O. Inlaid
Bestows S. Wisecrack
Lordship L. Stranding
Zanzibar B. Trefoils
Buoys B. Disapproval
Demagoguery H. Dowdily
Guile J. Identifier
Skull H. Anaxagoras
Schoolteacher H. Favorite
Sauciest C. Flinty
Forecastle J. Republishing
Pigtail U. Emigration
Shylockian G. Hightailed
Clincher K. Wichita
Rou S. Streetcar
Placate G. Davit
Holster Q. Shovelfuls
Enduring R. Oculist