I TOLD'EM I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYBODY IN TORONTO!

David Thomson on Robert Redford.

introducing FANTASY COVERS:

Max Cleland doing Johnny Paycheck's "It Ain't Over Til the Triple Paraplegic Vet Sings"

GLOSSED IN TRANSLATION:

"I listened to Richard Nixon... and I decided to be a Republican..." Arnold Schwarzenegger.

READ: "That one guy looked richer than the other guy..." [What would Nixon make of Arnold?]

"Thank God we have George W. Bush for President..." Rudolph Guiliani.

READ: "Thank God there's a Republican controlling the federal spigot..."

John McCain explained: he's accepted a major cabinet post, probably State, when Powell steps down. Either that, or Cheney is planning a heart attack the third week of October.

STILL TO COME: more lists, Too Many Guitars, Andras Schiff Beethoven on ECM, and Boz Scaggs Live.