I've said it before: Wendy at Ling Spa on the Upper West Side is a font of marketing ideas. There are few things I like more than hearing her stories about the fabulously wealthy women who come in all the time; my two favorites to date are the 1. the woman who claims her husband has never seen her without make-up (she sleeps with it on and only washes her face once a week, SO GROSS) and 2.  the 15-year-old whose mother suggested she get a Brazilian bikini wax "for her boyfriend," which is even more gross. Last week, Wendy told me that the lady who had the appointment before mine gets a facial once a week. "What could she possibly be getting done?" I asked. "If you have money, I'll tell you how to spend it." she said.  Because I have a one-track mind, this led me to wonder if arts organizations offer enough ways for me to spend the money I have.

I went to the New York Philharmonic opening last Wednesday night. The tickets were expensive ($72 - $255), and obviously people could buy tables at the post-performance gala. I can't afford a gala ticket, but my friend and I wanted to do something fun after the performance; no point in wasting the pound and a half of make-up I had on my face. We went to O'Neals' across the street. I had two martinis and a chicken sandwich and he had three glasses of wine and a burger. The bill was $100 even. No, our $100 isn't going to make or break the Philharmonic or any other arts institution, but why not take it? Human beings are lazy. There are better burgers in New York City, but no, my friend and I were not traveling farther than across the street at that time. Given the opportunity to stay, I'm sure we wouldn't have left Lincoln Center.

No sooner was I thinking this that I received a "liner notes" e mail from Berkeley Rep. I had bought tickets for the Green Day musical American Idiot for Saturday afternoon since I would be in San Francisco to see Sondra in Trovatore that evening. After a lengthy note from the dramaturg about storytelling (which perhaps wouldn't have been necessary if there was a story being told in the actual work - zing!), we came to this:

Specialty cocktails to help you rock 'n' roll

Our mixologists have gone into overtime concocting irresistible libations to celebrate the world premiere of American Idiot. In addition to Pabst Blue Ribbon (the beer of punks) with whiskey chasers, we also offer a carefully chosen beer list that includes local brews Pyramid Hefeweizen, Bison Brewery IPA, and Speakeasy Brewery Prohibition Amber, as well as imports Heineken and Newcastle. Now to our cocktails -- may we tempt you with... St. Jimmy - Taste the sweet and sour of life with this edgy mix of Jim Beam bourbon, sour apple schnapps, and cranberry juice. Whatsername - Enjoy an urban romance with this delicious blend of Absolut Ruby Red Vodka, Torani pomegranate syrup, and orange juice, served on the rocks. Jesus of Suburbia - Find salvation in this surprising mix of Skyy vodka, Midori melon liqueur, and a splash of pineapple juice topped off with bubbly club soda. Letterbomb - A classic cocktail gets a rock-and-roll makeover. Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola are bombed with a liquor-soaked cherry and a splash of cherry juice! Take advantage of our early-bird special. The lobby opens an hour before showtime, and cocktails, beer, and wine ordered within the first 15 minutes of opening are half-price! Stick around after the show because the party continues. After most evening performances, the lobby bar and the courtyard will remain open, and drinks are $1 off! Visit our website for a complete list of offerings at Marty's Place, our lobby café.

As mentioned, I went to an afternoon performance so sadly could not order a $1-off Letterbomb, but I obviously would have. Their theater is beautiful, the drinks sound fun, and the price is right. In addition to getting the money I would have spent at the Berkeley equivalent of O'Neals', the theater is curating a casual, social environment where everyone has just seen the same performance and, as they are remaining in the space, will probably be inclined to keep talking about it.

I know many presenters have "under 30" or young donor events, but that always requires a lot of advance planning and spending, and honestly: who actually wants to go to an "under 30" event?  Most likely only people over 30! We're all sheep - lazy, cheap, sheep - so just encourage us to make the last-minute decision to stick around, hand us a custom cocktail, call it the "not-Gala" and take our money.

I'm going to The Met opening tonight. For the last two years, Fiorello's - also across the street from Lincoln Center - has taken my and about ten of my friends' cold, hard cash, and I'm sure they will tonight as well. If I could spend it at The Met, I absolutely would.

Both the Metropolitan Opera and the New York Philharmonic will offer open dress rehearsals for their opening nights this year. Here are the details from their websites:

Free Tosca Open House Announced!

September 2, 2009

Don't miss the season-opening new production of Tosca--four days before Opening Night. On Thursday, September 17, the Met will launch its fourth season of free Open Houses, with the final dress rehearsal of Luc Bondy's new staging of Puccini's opera, starring Karita Mattila and conducted by Music Director James Levine.

Three thousand free tickets, limited to two per person, will be available beginning at noon on Sunday, September 13, at the Met box office only. The rehearsal starts at 11am on September 17, with doors opening at 10:30am.

Tosca is the first of three Open Houses planned for the 2009-10 season. The final dress rehearsals for Les Contes d'Hoffmann and Armida will be open later in the season.

The Open House for Tosca has been underwritten by a generous gift from Agnes Varis and Karl Leichtman.

Free Dress Rehearsal

Renée Fleming

Location: Avery Fisher Hall (Directions)

Wed, Sep 16, 2009, 9:45AM

The Philharmonic's "Opening Day" begins with a free-to-the-public Dress Rehearsal featuring soprano Renée Fleming, Music Director Alan Gilbert and the Philharmonic as they prepare the evening's program.

The free dress rehearsal is offered to the public, for the third consecutive year, by the New York Philharmonic and its Global Sponsor, Credit Suisse. General admission tickets will be handed out on a first-come, first-served basis, starting at 8:00AM that morning, on Lincoln Center's Josie Robertson Plaza. All attendees will receive discount coupons to a future Philharmonic concert and have the chance to win free concert tickets, autographed programs, and pre-loaded iPods.

I was nosing around the New York Philharmonic website just now, trying to figure out how many tickets they had left to sell for opening night next week, when I was distracted as usual by something totally ridiculous.

September 16, 2009: What a truly magical night for The Big Apple! Not only is a New Yorker finally leading the Philharmonic again, but the orchestra will perform at two major New York cultural institutions--Lincoln Center and Carnegie Hall--at the same time. This will mark the unveiling of the New York Philharmonic's extremely-under publicized American Orchestra Cloning Initiative, and promises to bring the city's leading interpreters of 20th century music, Trey Anasastio and Renée Fleming, together in song, albeit not on the same stages. From the homepage of the Philharmonic's website:

Three marketing items from my client Gabriel's concert at Rockwood Music Hall on Friday night:

1. The place was crawling with hot girls - I do not know why -  so I texted a few of my guy friends and told them to get over there. [Does that make me a good publicist or a bad woman?] This led me to wonder (a) whether or not the classical music audience is attractive, (b) whether or not that matters and (c) if it does matter, if it's a publicist's job to make that happen. The last time I thought about this was when my friend Megan and I were at a Land of Talk concert at Mercury Lounge last September. I love you Land of Talk, but you had the most unattractive fans we had ever seen in one room.

2. Someone "shushed" the crowd in the middle of Gabriel's set! Rockwood is a tiny room with a one drink minimum and maybe 12 seats; bascially, a bar with a small stage in one corner. I don't mean to put the space down at all - I think it's fantastic - but suffice to say it's usually a shush-free zone. Here's a photo from a previous Gabriel/Rockwwod performance, with cellist Alisa Weilerstein:

So this guy in the audience shushed some people (me, for one) who were talking quietly during the concert. Coincidentally, someone also shushed the crowd at The Clientele concert at the Music Hall of Williamsburg on Sunday night. Have anal retentive classical music manners crossed genre borders?? Fan...tastic.

3. They pass around a tip jar for the artist at Rockwood near the end of every concert. It has some church offering plate connotations in that you kind of feel guilty passing it without throwing in some cash, but generally it's a pretty casual, no-pressure thing. Regardless, I cracked myself up for a few minutes wondering what would happen if a tip jar for the artists was passed around during a NY Phil concert. Would people drop in their $10K donation checks? Would they think about how many ways the five bucks they had in their wallets would have to be split? At what point in the program would ushers have to start passing the jar around to get it to everyone before the concert ended?

Is the New York Philharmonic threatening me with their ad budget prowess?

In an e mail blast from last night:

Is it strange to be advertising your advertisements?

Has anyone tried the New York Phil iPhone app? I'm told it currently has 2.5 out of 5 stars. Reviews, please! As previously mentioned, I can't get an iPhone because I refuse to let go of my Verizon family plan, and my cheapness haunts me daily. All I hope is that the iPhone app is more successful than the Philharmonic's previously secret Facebook page.

Recently, my clients David and Hilary weighed in on Tweeting, etc. during concerts.  Life's a Pitch devotees may also remember the report of the Patti LuPone incident from this winter, during which Santa Evita stopped singing 'Rose's Turn' in Gypsy to yell at an audience member while my friend Maureen and I sat horrified in the left orchestra. Well, according to The New York Times' arts blog (via the Las Vegas Sun) the Rainbow of Argentina has has done it again:

Broadway star Patti LuPone hadn't even finished lowering her arms in the iconic introduction to the song "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina," when she waved to her 10-man orchestra to stop the music. LuPone was already at the lip of the stage, chewing out some doofus in the third row, who was brave and foolish enough to be caught using an electronic gizmo during her show at the Orleans showroom.

"What were you doing?" LuPone demanded of her captive. "I promise not to be mad at you. Just tell me, what were you doing -- videoing? Taking photos? Texting? I really want to know."

...Sitting near me in the capacity crowd was freelance journalist and blogger Steve Friess, who was itching to post about the eruption to his Twitter feed. "I want to text right now so bad it's killing me!" he whispered, laughing. Friess quickly jammed out a blog post and a tweet, apparently while waiting for the valet to retrieve his car. [Las Vegas Sun]

"I don't care what the bourgeoisie say; I'm not in business for them, but to give all my descamisados a magical moment or two!"

Of course the internet is a magical place, and the great irony is that audio from her Gypsy spasm has been listened to 200,000+ times on YouTube.

Update from my friend Jeff, 6/23!! LuPone, from whom I'm still awaiting monetary reimbursement for the Gypsy ticket to the performance she ruined, has responded to the New York Times. It seems she's both read the recent Wall Street Journal article on the topic and doesn't know who Will Swenson is. Yes, photos/texting/Tweeting/eating during performances are a problem, but where are the ushers? The house managers? There are systems in place to police these things that don't ruin performances for the rest of us.

The New York Philharmonic has a new logo:


Questions, comments, concerns?

The New York Philharmonic's Facebook group is "secret".


Seriously? The Philharmonic decides who is worthy of their Facebook group? Facebook, a free digital platform that makes access to new things almost too easy, and somehow - somehow - the Philharmonic finds a way to make it exclusive? 

The New York Philharmonic is running a photo contest for their Concerts in the Parks series this summer. Folks were encouraged to submit their photos and then to vote for their favorites between July 25th and July 31st. The categories are best performance shot, best family/friends shot, best kid shot, best nature shot, best picnic shot, best NYC moment shot, most original shot, and overall favorite shot. Such a great idea! And then, just when I think we're safe...

Winners in each of the eight categories in the contest will be announced on August 1, and will receive a pair of tickets to a New York Philharmonic performance at Avery Fisher Hall.

Oh NO. No no. Why wouldn't the winning photos become the advertising campaign for Concerts in the Parks next summer? I had assumed the point of the contest was to gather unique perspectives "from the ground" (literally/not literally). And some of the photos are really amazing; they capture the excitement and fun (imagine that!) of a philharmonic concert far better than any artist publicity shot does. Ah well. Baby steps.

Update - 7/22, 2ish pm: It has been brought to my attention that Carnegie Hall has held a Playbill cover art contest for the past three years. The ten winners receive $500 and two tickets to a Carnegie concert, and most importantly, their artwork becomes the monthly Playbill covers. I did not know this, and think it's swell. The contest is open to art students, and is advertised via schools, art websites and Facebook. This year's deadline was July 17th. It would be rockin' for Carnegie to collaborate with a gallery and display the original artwork from the top 10, or maybe top 30 submissions, then work with that gallery on cross-marketing and even present a couple concerts in the space. Read your program while being surrounded by programs. 

According to The New York Times, approximately 48,500 people patronized the Bon Jovi concert in Central Park on Saturday, July 12th, while 63,000 came out to see Lang Lang and the NY Philharmonic in the same park on Tuesday, July 15th.

Classical music: 1
New Jersey: 0