Great moments in GawkerForum

"As I walked into the ICA's summer show in London last Tuesday, I was relieved to find that not every arts institution wants to lead its audience around by the hand as if it were an infirm patient in a mental hospital." -- Laura K. Jones.

Yes, because why should art institutions lead us around by the hand as if we were infirm... when GawkerForum does it so much better? Seriously, I'm pretty sure then when the GawkerForum editorial team saw this one come over the transom they knew, just knew, that it would be leading this month's update. I mean, the only other real competition was Linda Yablonsky, but hey, the Cardinals don't let Albert Pujols bat lead-off, do they?

"Beer, set out at precise twenty-minute intervals, was quickly rationed to the anxious crowd. 'It's gone in one or two minutes,' warned the gallery assistant; it seemed more like seconds." -- Michael Wang. Beer? At an art opening? If we hadn't read about it in GawkerForum, we wouldn't have known. (Next month: GF examines the Chelsea-based distribution of warm white wine.)  

"'We've got everyone from Dina Merrill to Debbie Harry," Anne Livet was saying, and what do you know if it wasn't the truth, and not just a proud PR rep's quip." -- Linda Yablonsky, revealing what matters most to her: Names! I counted roughly 64 names in this month's FabYab spectacular. names made up ~128 words of Yablonsky's 929-word total, or one out of every seven words. (And that's almost twice last month's total of 36 names, which seemed like a huge number. You may recall such FabYab hits as "What's more, I hardly knew anyone there," and "I don't know anyone here!") Here is the GawkerForum model at its most ridiculous: Who needs content? Just name everyone in sight. A reminder, dear friends: This isn't art writing; it's numbers and a few hyphens away from being the NYC phone book. 

***NEWSFLASH*** We interrupt your regularly-scheduled update with this news: Artforum will bring us Hal Foster on a regular basis. In a related story, when last at the Mandrake I heard this joke: If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, it makes no sound. So if Hal Foster writes for Artforum and on one reads it, is he still writing for October?

"I did, however, have the chance to renew my acquaintance with the charming Piotr Nathan, whose work from 1993 — in which urinal doors are made into a Japanese screen, supporting photographs by David Armstrong — is one of the show's highlights." -- Mark Sladen. This is GawkerForum's version of art criticism: A work of art is a "highlight" if you personally know the artist.

"'No one's wearing a bathing suit in this weather,' groaned Julie Atlas Muz, the miraculously upbeat MC of last Saturday night's benefit for Sens Production at Williamsburg's McCarren Park Pool. Gray skies and a broken L train may have foiled the kickoff swimwear competition, but the evening ahead still promised musical performances by Worange Drexler and DJ Spooky, along with sneak previews of Agora II, a site-specific 'choreographic game for one thousand bodies' orchestrated by Sens Production director and 2004 Whitney Biennial participant Noémie Lafrance." -- David Velsaco. Apparently anything that involves -- however tangentially -- a Whitney Biennial participant is GawkerForum material. Coming next month: A detailed account of Paul Chan ordering lamb vindaloo from his neighborhood takeout joint.

***NEWSFLASH***I just received an email from GawkerForum announcing their latest hire: Someone named Sprezzatura. Apparently his first piece will be on a Dan Graham, Tony Oursler, Rodney Graham, and Laurent Berger show of sockpuppetry.