Don't you carry nothing that might be a load

I'm glad our mom didn't come to The Wiz at City Center with my sister and me tonight. If she had, then from the first moment Ashanti stationed herself downstage center and started to sing, Aliza and I would have had to re-hear all about Melba Moore - "the tiniest little woman you'd ever seen" - being un-miked - "with the biggest voice you've ever heard" - "reaching all the way to the back of the house" - in Purlie.  Ashanti was miked tonight - I know this because we're talking about musical theater in 2009 and because the body mic factors prominently in the (awful) Times photo - but she surely didn't have to be. The woman has a phenomenal voice. She could have stood there and sang whatever she wanted to all night and I would have been happy as anything. (And while we're on the topic, even happier if she had busted out 'I've Got Love'.)

Unfortunately, Ashanti was not allowed to simply "park and bark", as they say, and instead was required to dance and act as well. And that, my friends, was an unmitigated disaster. I think she may have actually been looking at her feet during a few of the big dance numbers. But Ashanti is famous, so there she stands in a role that presumably requires a triple threat: someone who can sing, dance and act equally well.

The other celebrity draw in this production of The Wiz was comedian Orlando Jones, again, unfortunately made to do things on stage other than be funny. The third celebrity of the evening - albeit more of a Broadway celebrity than a celebrity-celebrity - was LaChanze. In the three musicals I've seen her in, she's only really sung (and technically acted, though I've never been especially impressed), and yet there her name is in the program with an "and" credit and a fatter font.

Joshua Henry, James Monroe Iglehart and Christian Dante White - you've heard of them, right? Oh...you haven't? Really? Are you sure? But they can dance! They can sing! They can act! Incredibly well, actually, and in equal distributions. These were the three men who played the Tinman, the Lion and the Scarecrow, respectively, and they should be Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt as far as I'm concerned. Well not precisely, but you see what I mean: the three most all-around excellent cast members were the least famous of the leads.

So as I boogied out of The Wiz tonight in my vintage jumpsuit and platform gold lamé sandals I wondered: does being good at just one thing make it easier to be famous? Of course there are exceptions, but if you think about it, how many celebrity-celebrities are really triple threats? Beyoncé is certainly one. Little Zac Efron is too if we're being lenient in the acting category. Madonna, for sure. Can we still count Michael Jackson (acting c.f. The Wiz and oh yes, the incomparable Captain EO)?  We'll see how the whole crew does in the new Nine movie. But you hear in theater that you have to be a "triple threat" all the time, but does that celebrity-celebrities make? Or even niche celebrities make? Yo-Yo Ma isn't expected to tap, and Savion Glover isn't expected to play the cello. Or to sing. Or to act. Aren't we frankly surprised when celebrities can do anything but the one thing they are famous for doing?