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September 9, 2004

ON FLIP-FLOPS AND SHARP SHIFTS

How come when Kerry does it, it's called "a flip-flop," but when the Nincompoop in Chief does it, it's termed "a sharp shift from an earlier position"? How come when the ninny makes a U-turn, does a back flip, lands a belly flop, or pulls his head out of his ass, it's called crossing a bridge, making a concession, embracing a new position, or acknowledging a recommendation?

Here's the lede on the top story, headlined "Bush Now Backs Budget Powers in New Spy Post," in this morning's New York Times.

WASHINGTON, Sept. 8 -- President Bush said on Wednesday that he wanted to give a new national intelligence director "full budgetary authority," a sharp shift from an earlier position and an acquiescence to a major recommendation of the Sept. 11 commission.

It might have read:

WASHINGTON, Sept. 8 -- President Bush flip-flopped on Wednesday, saying he wanted to give a new national intelligence director "full budgetary authority" in a U-turn from his position five weeks ago when he declined to go along with a major recommendation of the Sept. 11 commission.

Here, in order of increasing timidity, are other ledes. On the same story, headlined "Bush Plan Draws on Advice of 9/11 Panel," in this morning's Washington Post:

President Bush yesterday proposed giving a new national intelligence director broad powers to plan intelligence agencies' spending priorities and clandestine activities, making a concession to lawmakers moving to implement the more sweeping proposals of the Sept. 11 commission.

It might have read:

After dismissing the idea five weeks ago, President Bush yesterday did a back flip and agreed on giving a new national intelligence director broad powers to plan intelligence agencies' spending priorities and clandestine activities, while refusing to admit he was making a concession to lawmakers moving to implement the more sweeping proposals of the Sept. 11 commission.

The lede on the same story, headlined "Bush Now Backs Stronger Spy Czar," in this morning's Los Angeles Times:

WASHINGTON -- President Bush, moving toward embracing a key element of the Sept. 11 commission's recommendations, said Wednesday that a new national intelligence director should have authority over more than half of the U.S. intelligence community's estimated $40-billion annual budget.

It might have read:

WASHINGTON -- President Bush reversed himself in a belly flop on a key element of the Sept. 11 commission's recommendations, saying Wednesday that a new national intelligence director should have authority over more than half of the U.S. intelligence community's estimated $40-billion annual budget.

And the lede on the same story, headlined "Bush backs plan to give spy chief budget control," in this morning's Chicago Tribune:

WASHINGTON -- Acknowledging a key recommendation of the Sept. 11 commission, President Bush urged congressional leaders Wednesday to create a national intelligence director with "full budgetary authority" over much of the nation's intelligence community.

It might have read:

WASHINGTON -- Pulling his head out of his ass on a key recommendation of the Sept. 11 commission, President Bush did a triple somersault belly flop when he urged congressional leaders Wednesday to create a national intelligence director with "full budgetary authority" over much of the nation's intelligence community.

Got any more euphemisms?

Posted by at September 9, 2004 8:58 AM

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