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June 15, 2004
ONE MORE INTERRUPTION
Our search for a hideout continues. But we couldn't let this go: As tipped by Arts & Letters Daily, Ann Crittenden's essay "What Do Mothers Want?" asks the question: "Why has the U.S. never had a decent system of child care? One feminist answer, 'dumb men, stupid choices,' is long overdue."
Far be it from us to suggest another, less catchy if more accurate summary. But we feel obliged. Here tiz: "Mothers are struggling valiantly to find a framework or story line that coherently explains the causes of their discontent." The truth is, we prefer ALD's summary. May we illustrate with a description of "The Next Survivor Series"? It came to us in email, like so:
Six married men
will be dropped
on an island with
one
car
and
four kids each,
for six weeks.
Each kid plays two sports
and
either takes
music or dance classes.
*****
There is no access to fast
food.
*****
Each man must take care of his four kids,
keep his assigned house
clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects, cook, do laundry,
etc.
*****
The men only have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and
all chores are done.
There is only one TV between them
and there
is
NO REMOTE.
*****
The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup
daily,
which they must apply themselves,
either while driving or
while making
four lunches.
*****
They must attend weekly PTA meetings;
clean up after their
sick children at 3:00 a.m.;
make an Indian hut model
with six toothpicks,
a
tortilla
and one marker;
and get a 4-year-old to eat a serving of
peas.
*****
The kids vote them off the island, based on
performance.
*****
The last man wins ...
only if ...
he has enough energy to
be intimate
with his spouse at a moment's notice.
*****
If the last man does win,
he can play the game
over and over again
for the next 18-25 years ...
eventually
earning the right to be called
*****
"Mother."
And yes, we're aware "The Next Survivor Series" has been making its way around the Web for some time in different versions. We just thought it timely and apropos to mention now.
Posted by at June 15, 2004 12:20 PM
