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March 17, 2004
ATTACK LIMERICKS IN RED, WHITE AND GREEN
Amid the Irish tunes and the St. Paddy's Day celebrations and all the world's parades, when even the Chicago River turns green, the U.S. presidential campaign has gone from attack ads to attack limericks.
Republican National Committee Chairman Ed Gillespie released this tribute to Democratic nominee John Kerry:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose misstatements could fill up a bucket.
Oft the truth he has bent, Like his "Irish descent."
Of his record he says, "I'll just duck
it."
The Democratic National Committee responded in kind:
There also was a Yank from Connecticut,
Who utterly lacked any etiquette.
He
claimed Texas blood,
Threw the truth in the mud,
Think his word is his bond? Don't
bet on it.
And Straight Up reader Leon Freilich released this non-limerick attack on Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City, where the 243rd annual parade down Fifth Avenue honoring the patron saint of Ireland steps off clan by clan at 11 a.m. ET in an unbroken tradition that began on March 17, 1762.
WHERE ARE THE SINS OF YESTERYEAR?
You can't smoke inside, you can't drink outside:
What's happened to the
bar?
Once it was another home,
Now it's just bizarre
Inside-outside, outside-inside:
The place makes gray matter spin;
The suddenly
hapless smoker-drinker
Takes it on the chin.
Why couldn't the city in all its wisdom
Tackle an enterprise zone
Or grime in the
streets or subway malfunctions--
And leave bad enough alone?
When the mayor replies with his brand of poesy, we'll let you know.
Posted by at March 17, 2004 08:43 AM