It's Not Me, It's You

I am an advice column addict. What started with Ann Landers and Hints from Heloise when I was 12 has evolved into a steady diet of guidance from all sorts of sources--everything from Ask Prudence to Savage Love. I don't usually have the kinds of problems that tend to plague the letter writers. Still, I read with devotion.

It's a public service that is both entertaining and educational. Okay, sure, like staring at the ethical car crash that has introduced the nation to the Palin family, in large part it's probably just that human love of knowing what sorts of salacious drama the neighbors are involved in. I'm not a church goer, but I often paused to ask myself, "What would The Ethicist do?" and I suspect it keeps me on an equivalent moral path.

I've been browsing season brochures and thinking about the relationship between presenters and audiences. Whether a newcomer to the scene or a giant institution of culture, a lot of energy is expended on trying to catch the eye of Mr. and Mrs. Public. But it's a crowded room, and the target is elusive. I wonder what Dan Savage would advise if presented with this unhealthy relationship. Is culture trying too hard? Can the audience smell the desperation on the postcards? Or is culture in America playing too hard to get?

Self-criticism is difficult; it's why we need advice columnists to pull up the window shades for us sometimes. Who would throw over an amazing piece of art for another episode of Law & Order? Oh, Law & Order flirted with you, made you feel pretty and smart, but Art began the evening by presenting you with a seating chart and the check? I can see how that would be a turn off. Ahem, let's try again. Oh, you know Elizabeth? Small world. Let me get you a drink.

If you have a cultural question you don't think you can Ask Amy, feel free to drop a line.